The Ab Fab Life

yay. another new blog. take 2

2007-11-08T22:27:00.001-08:00

http://sapporosarah.blogspot.com

sad times

2007-06-28T02:27:00.000-07:00

hi everyone... my blog is broken!!

i have not been able to log on for aa-aa-ages and so am thus wishing it goodbye forever

*sob*

it's been real

ps tom, shaks and i will be starting a new blog together soon and i'll try post the address here if it lets me... snarky thing!

a hommage

2007-05-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

as with all human nature, i am experiencing a completely inexplicable emotion. i miss the book store of doom. i know i've left behind a semi-abusive, unhappy work environment, but (some might see it as a sort of 'grass-is-greener' syndrome) i yearn for the good old days ;) (yikes! a stereotype)

i think because i'm in no-man's land at the moment. very little wits. no work. just waiting in july so i can start a new phase and i suppose, if i force myself to psychoanalyse things, then i miss the whole 'group' mentality of my old routine

some things i miss about the book store:

the books. i'm a nerd. bite me

meeting people - a la ipodboy, not jevons dad, waldimar, damon berry (good old damon with his exciting-ness) ... the beauty of working in the customer service industry is that you can meet just about anybody anytime.

shakti's marriage proposals and gifts from people such as psycho johnny... those were the days, huh rina? how ever will you find a significant other NOW? especially one so generous and frequent with his visitations... ;

rides with thomas. AND the pudding! oh the pudding!

and that is all for another installment of things that are not particularly interesting, but i hanker to record them anyway

4)

movies, passports and a brush with danger

2007-04-17T23:54:00.000-07:00

love love love this movie! please everyone go and see it!

wow its been so long since i blogged, life and lack of tecnological access has rendered me inept for the last few weeks.

the passport saga continues - it turns out that after submitting my second batch of fingerprints and more photos, that nobody is sure where the heck my passport forms are. the people at headoffice claim they haven't seen hide nor hair of it and the people at the edenvale office claim the people at headoffice are being lazy. they, the edenvale people, then suggested that i come in and do some more fingerprints and bring some more photos and they will give me, out the of the goodness of their government owned hearts, a free temporary one! problem is, the japanese embassy won't use temporary ones... so hold thumbs, oh internet people! i still have some time before hectic panic ensues. what have a i learnt from this experience? i am a statistic! yessiree if it goes wrong, i'm your girl! luckily its funny and i thrive off stress.

exciting story of the week : on friday i was babysitting the little cousins and, after a 'fun' day of baking cupcakes with a zillion of their friends, we went to sleep. a little while later, i awoke to shouting and sirens and all the usual exciting noises that make for one hell of a scare. i decided not to get out of bed and investigate but clutched my phone to my chest ready to call for help. a little while later i, being brave and alert and all that csi stuff, fell asleep again. in the morning, my aunt regaled us with this tale STRAIGHT out of desperate housewives i tell you :

the neighbour was sitting at home with her boyfriend minding her own business when her, obviously crazy ex, came along and doused the boyfriends relatively new bmw sports car with petrol and set it alight. the neighbour from the other side then drove past in his brand new car (he literally had bought it that day) which happened to be exactly the same make as the crazed ex boyfriends car and, noticing the large burning thing, hooted to get everyone out the house. the boyfriend, running out, taking in his burnt crisp of a vehicle and seeing what he presumed to be the ex boyfriend trying to get away, picked up a huge rock (not kidding, i saw this thing! it was a flipping boulder!) and chucked it at the other neighbours car, smashing the back window and denting the back. the police and forensics were called and the road was blocked off!

exciting things happen when i choose to sleep!

i may not exist within the state

2007-04-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

it's bad enough that the university system has lost me twice this year and made me feel half like a ghost that has no identity and half like i am free to engage in minor criminal activities. when i went to go and collect my new passport (the old one had reached its date of non existance) and my new id (the old one had a photo that didn't resemble me in the slightest much like Luke's drivers licence where he looks like a suicide bomber) which i had applied for on the 8 DECEMBER 2006, i was told that the fingerprinting identification system could not identify me and i was required to submit a whole new set of fingerprints and hope and pray that i get my passport... sometime... and thus, like many a south african native before me, i am going to say that i, without a doubt, truly hate the department of home affairs. they can bite me.

happy easter!

yayayayay!

2007-04-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

japan is a-go! and i will now purchase the 'teach yourself japanese' thingy from work so that when i ask 'when is the next train coming in?' i won't accidentally say 'wow i like leeks and your hot wife'

yay!

i just slammed my thumb in a drawer and went to the back and cried a little like a girl

2007-03-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

i have become enamoured with william petersen from csi. gran purchased the first season on her most recent 'i love dvds' shopping trip... she will probably never watch it and so i have hijacked it. i think he's great! my brother calls him 'the fat one' which is just about the meanest thing ever to say about someone your sister might just love! i always watched csi miami frequently because the acting is so bad that it was doubly enjoyable but now *sigh* gill grissham is the way to go people! not sure why i think he is the greatest thing since kinder joy chocolate eggs, but the heart knows things the mind only wonders ;)

the rat pack keeps falling on my head

2007-03-15T00:46:00.001-07:00

no matter how much prestick i stick on the frigging poster, the rat pack that hangs above my bed kept falling on my head in the middle of the night! and THEN, the clock off of my wall fell on me too. the inanimate objects in my room are becoming revolutionary. they must be stopped!

this post is to describe the amazement i feel for just how exciting shakti's life is. everyone always says 'good grief Sarah, your life is so exciting' which is such a lie... i attract weirdness. shakti attracts the adventure!

the other day shaks and her dad witnessed a smash and grab in front of them (for those of you non south africans, a smash and grab is an unfortunately common occuring act of crime whereby once you stop your car at a red robot - or traffic light whatever you may call it - a man shoves a brick or some sort of hard instrument through your window and steals your bags)

shaks' dad, being the gun-ho heroic type started driving their large and intimidating land rover truck thing AT the said criminal, being very careful not to hit the other car. the guy, panicking, then squeezed inbetween the cars and hightailed it off into the bushes. shaks, as she is prone to do when nervous, was giggling her head off

all of a sudden, a bakkie (a... um... what is a non afrikaaner word for bakkie... why can i not remember...a pick up? i think? anyway) stopped and a gun toting presumably afrikaans man lept out and ran after the guy, swinging his gun above his head like a cowboy

the car that had been attacked up and drove themselves away

and so shaks and her dad had to sit and wait for the crazy gun man to come back because by leaping out of his car, he had simply flung his door wide open, leaving the keys in the ignition and launched himself out at full speed

eventually he came back, look at shaks and her dad and drove away

now THAT is exciting and cements the fact that shakti's dad should be a member of the A-Team

I AM HANDING IN MY LETTER OF RESIGNATION TO THE BOOK STORE TODAY good riddance!

ok bye!

it was weird

2007-03-13T05:44:00.000-07:00

a pic of me and cath in celebration of her birthday!

this weekend i got a completely random phone call at work - i was just minding my own business like the un-nosy person that i am when some weird old sounding guy phoned

'@#&* books, Sarah speaking!'

'sarah! how are you?' says Strange Man

'i am fine how are you?'

'i am fine ... do you know who this is?'

'no' i say rather apologetically, 'i don't'

'let me give you a clue - we were at a fancy function recently'

'oh - what fancy function? when?'

'the other day'

'the UN banquet?'

'yes! do you not remember me?'

i am getting irritated now

'no - who are you?'

'let me give you a clue - i am tall'

'no'

'mark! with the dark hair!'

'nope sorry'

' i can't believe this! let me give you another clue - we met at a club. it was a titilating evening' - the Strange Man sniggers

'no. i'm sorry'

'i am shocked Sarah! i am coming to the store right now!'

he puts the phone down and i phone tom who has a list of all the people at the banquet. it turns out that there was NOBODY called mark at the dinner. so i get scared and geffy at work says 'never fear Se! i will protect you' and then proceeds to leave the store for 45 minutes and i feel like a bunny on a highway at midnight.

they guy didn't make himself known but there were many customers i didn't look in the eye and many an occasion that i ran to hide in the back of the store. i am a chicken like that. it was weird.

when i got home, my mail was waiting for me an in it was an invite to a family reunion. the funny thing was that NOBODY ELSE in my family had received one. hmmm a family reunion. without my family. it was weird

bodyguard for hire?

gulp

road trip to the airport and the embarrassing things that happen there because it is fate

2007-03-06T08:32:00.001-08:00

on sunday we took a trip to one of my favourite places in the country - the airport! i love it there... it smells of all things adventurous because i like to ignore that i am usually perched in the domestic terminals with names like 'DURBAN' flashing by on the arrivals boardy-thing. the airport is also one of my Places Of Embarrassing Occurances. i have, on occasion, been known to say 'no, i'm not here on business, i'm a TERRORIST' instead of 'tourist' (they both slip off the tongue so easily) and where i have become horribly lost and thus almost miss my uncle's plane when he left for dubai forever (it's ok, he came back 3 years later). there is, however, one day that takes the cake - we were at the airport for some reason i cannot remember and my other uncle (i have lots) was building the airport (well his company was) and so i was pottering around with him when i got lost (i do that a lot. when we were in the deserts of qatar, we got lost and turned on the satellite machine thing that i have forgotten the name of to tell us where we were and it said in its dead pan American accent - 'you are in the gulf'...). i digress. so i went to find him, only to run into tourists (this time they were not terrorists. they were british, you see)

British boy we will call charles"'ello! are you souf affrican?"
me : um... yes
charles (brandishing a hockey stick) : lads!! our first souf affrican girrrl!
me : probably looking petrified
charles and friends : crowd around me and TAKE A PHOTO presumably called 'random british hockey team and their first spotting of a 'souf affrican' (sic) girl.
i ran away...

...only i would have run away if i hadn't run smack bang (that was the day i realised the meaning of the term 'smack bang') into a large pile of bags that were piled on the floor. all of a sudden a large crowd of very tall men all wearing the same clothes gathered around me and picked me up and dusted me off and then laughed hysterically at me like this :
'ahahaaaaaa hhhhhaaaa ahahahahaaaaaahahhhhhaaaaaaa that must be sooooo embarrassing!!!'
yes. yes it was.

i then found out that they were the nigerian soccer team on a tour. yes. yes it was.

i love the airport

ps - i made the short list for japan - they send it to tokyo and they decide there who goes. weird though- they're only taking 30 - 40 instead of last years 80 odd!

pps - PRISON BREAK STARTS TONIGHT! yaaay for me and shakti's mom! and i am at work ;( and yes i know that it is one of those 'unbelievable shows' (thanks mike) and i am a sucker for western culturisation (one of the uncles) but bite me

motion sickness

2007-02-27T09:33:00.000-08:00

japanese stuff :

do you ever remember writing a test or exam at school and you'd come out and discuss it with your friends even though your brain knew it was a really dumb idea? i'd inevitably have different answers from everyone and then worry about what exactly i was thinking. yesterday was like that. i found some of the questions in the english test quite thought-provoking whilst everyone else thought it was breezy (damn you laura with your high IQ!) and my professor from wits ended up interviewing me which should have made it easier (damn you john with your love for weaponry!) but it made it surreal. so here's how it went : i don't know. all i can do is wait. after matric, in that period where you sit around waiting for your results to be published in the national newspaper for the entire world to see (including your strangely competitive afrikaans family in ermelo who would like their precious ones to be the cleverest in the family... yes people are sad like that) and you slowly convince yourself that you failed. i am in that place. slowly.failing. ;)

wits:

so wits is taking me on a lovely rollercoaster ride of deception, lies and just plain confusion. right now i am not taking classes and am most probably not going to be allowed to do masters by research because the silly woman in politics is having a hissy fit. according to her, they do not want research people. i am not nearly qualified. they cannot give me money. firstly, wits is trying to be a research based university in a few years. secondly, i am qualified. thirdly, i am on a full scholarship and i am going to be working my butt off in japan to be able to shoot my documentary in the sudan. she says 'no.' the professor who agreed to be my supervisor is going to talk to her. and if she still says no, i will study japanese for 5 months. am strangely calm. sigh.

i want to get off of this rollercoaster. its not fun anymore and i'm starting to feel a little nauseous.

argh!

2007-02-25T08:43:00.000-08:00

tomorrow is my interview and test!

why do i feel like i am 12?

george clooney will be with me when i win an oscar

2007-02-24T08:36:00.000-08:00

i am deeply disturbed by brett lee's attempts at singing in a bollywood manner. the first time i saw his music video i thought it was a joke ... one of those little cricket adverts that have been prancing around our screens. it was not.

i have never been this angry with the media. the stupid little university newspaper at wits (which we were all encouraged to join when i did journalism, but declined for very obvious reasons) has published one of the most self important, unethical little piece of twaddle i have ever seen.
background info - we at wits have started a darfur genocide campaign. one of the leaders of the campaign - the instigator , a lovely girl called caylee - just so happens to be jewish. OH NO - shouts the vuvuzela, this MUST be a religious issue and so they proceeded to turn it into a jewish vs palestinian debate. the stupid little reporter - Farhana Ismail- tried to create a story where there was no story. and what she has done hs negative consequences for us and i think i will now make sure that her unethical journalistic practices has the same negative impacts on her 'journalism' 'career' ... i'm seething. stupid little people irritate me.

oh a happy note - the other day shaks' mom was pondering things and looking out of her window and into the garden of their flat complex. she spotted a woman, crouching down, every so often looking up in suspicion and peering into other flats. shaks' mom called shaks and her dad and they all looked at her

"i think she might be eating sand!" said shaks' mom

the rest of the family dispelled that theory ... i mean, who eats sand? shaks' dad called down to her to ask if she was ok and she nodded and ran away

a few days later shaks' mom saw the woman, she was pregnant and carrying a cup of sand! a craving ;)

and to end - wits has forced me to deregister as a masters coursework student and register as a 2 year research student. i now have a supervisor who thinks i should contact george clooney to see if he wants to be in my documentary when i go to the sudan. and he wants me to thank him in my oscar acceptance speech. i like my supervisor ;)

waffling on ... waffle waffle waffle

2007-02-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

since i am doubtful of my ability to make coherent and intertwined paragraphs, this post will be in the style made famous by triggermap - the point by point blog

1. i have flu again ... second time this year. it's that odd flu whereby you feel you are walking around with cotton wool in your earlobes and the innate desire to lie down on the floor every 5 minutes

2. in a recent survey in britain, 1 out of every 9 women has had an abortion as a result of a serious relationship (so says sky news)

3. i have been trying to be a dedicated student and keep up with my readings so that i can make witty and intelligent conversation during my classes but that has had a severe hinderance in the fact that i did not understand the first chapter i read. what is a 'neo-marxist socialist feminist' exactly and what do they believe in?! i don't know! for petes sake ...

4. stinky is home for the weekend. they sent them all home before the week of physicals start. he's seemingly doing quite well, he says that they all split into groups of 100 and out of his group there are 8 left. some people have been sent home because of the inadequate length of their arms.

5. i have recently realised that if the were an opportunity, like hurrican katrina, i would probably be a looter. its a sad state of my personal attributes. like now, i think that i am going to japan in july and so i have adopted the 'i am not here to make friends, move out of my way' attitude. it's like i'm flitting about waiting

6. laura and i got the calls - we have our japanese interviews on the 26 Feb ... apparently we have a 45 minute intensive english test (WHAT the heck is a verb again?!) and then a one on one interview! (thank the pope for sabc and their random japanese insterts... i know aaaall about washi - that paper stuff they make lanterns out of) hold thumbs!

7. watched the departed - it was good. even leo was good. but i thought the ending was dumb in that 'oh look we've run out of time lets kill everyone off and pretend it was a logical end'

8. i am going to go buy a caramello bear now

boot camp and all that jazz

2007-02-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

my dear brother stinky (also known sometimes as mike) left today for 10 days of psychoanalysis and the sticking of thermometer in dark places. there are about 5 levels he has to get through and so while i will miss him and want to see him, i dont want to see him before the 10 days are up because that'd mean they rejected him. this boot camp is the culmination of his dream to be a South African fighter pilot since forever.

before he left, much to his chagrin, i sat him down in a very sombre fashion and commanded him to find me a fighter pilot husband. any one else in for the pickin's? because you need to tell me so that i can sms before he goes too far out of signal range. it will annoy him to no end. he he he

part 2 : you have been eagerly awaiting this, i can tell!

2007-02-10T09:13:00.000-08:00

ralph then tells mary, mary's mom and lysander that they must try phone horation, but under no circumstances to let mildred know that her husband was having an affair.

in due course, after knocking and knocking on doors and windows and phoning home phones and cell phones, the door eventually opens.

it turns out that horatio, who has had some brain troubles - ie medically resulting in operations and scans and such has had what i think can only be described as an aneurysm and was lying unconscious on the floor, with his little side floozy too worried about getting caught to phone an ambulance! she simply waited there and did absolutely nothing (if it was me in the situation - hah hahahahahaaa - the most REASONABLE thing to do would be to phone the frigging ambulance and then inform the gardener about the situation and then leave! i mean please!)

so they rush him to hospital and find out he lost a lot of oxygen to his brain, but was 'stable' ... mary then found out that the last time horatio had engaged in extra curricular activities with another concubine, mildred had subsequently fired all her employees who had known about it. (the fact that this company is an equal employee CCU company thingy is besides the point)

mary then went home.

the next few days mary went to work, there was no electricity.

the next few, the phones were broken.

i'll bet she played some solitaire.

telling this story for mary!

2007-02-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

a while ago my lovely friend mary told me this story about her first foray into the world of working people and i asked her to share it with the world for i thought it to be dramatically funny

main characters of whose names the only one that is real is mary
mary - mainest main character
mary's mother - mary's mother
mildred - the wife of the boss
hortentio - the boss
glenda - the mistress of hortentio
ralph - the brother of hortentio
lysander - the gardener

it all started one bright sunny morning, or alternatively one dark rainy morning - i did not inquire the weather and thus use poetic justice - when the pretty greek mary, having finished her degree at wits and having some extra time on her hands, agrees to temp for a company her mom consults for, as a favour. she arrives at the place of work, a company owned by husband / wife duo hortentio and mildred. mildred is in hospital with a very bad bout of depression and so mary is supposed to contact horatio as she arrives at work. despite knocking and knocking on the door and ringing on the bell and all other things to get somebody's attention, mary and her mom are about to despair, when the gardener - lysander - pops up

"lysander! i dare say you are a sight for sore eyes! do you know where hortentio is at?" asks innocent mary

"you should perhaps go knock on the window" helpfully suggests lysander, "i would but mr hortentio has a woman in there and so i don't want to."

"umm ... ooookay ... is mildred home?"

"no. another woman."

at this very minute the morning silence is shattered by the ringing of a phone - it is ralph! hortentio's brother! mary's mother speaks with him for a while. it comes out that the woman is glenda! the mistress of the wayward hortentio!

to be continued...

and at this moment i must go because i have run out of time. tune in for part two! ;)

quick ps - if you are a boy and you get a girl's number (and not in such a way that you ask her for it as a pity question, but you go to lengths that are out of your way - even in a minor sense ) then PHONE her because it is irritating. thanks

battles with my inner arsonist

2007-02-04T06:12:00.000-08:00

friday was the day i almost burnt the University of the Witwatersrand to the ground

if it had not been for the fact
i) that i was physically exhausted
ii) that my inner guilty catholic is a strong (unfortunate?) presence and
iii) i left my canister of gasoline in my OTHER pair of pants ... um ... skirt
the place would have been razed in a swift and punishing blaze of irritation

why?

do you even need to ask me that question? one quick poll - who here who has had the pleasure of attending the fine and upstanding institution has not had the thought at least once? none of you? i thought so

the reason is as follows :

every year i have been at wits, i have experienced a problem. they lose my exmas. they put the wrong mark on the internet (read 38% instead of 83%). they register me for the wrong courses. i understand that these things are bound to happen to me - try as i might, the great god of bureaucracy laughs at my defeats. so i deal with it. in third year, i had to take an extra course, an extra first year history course whilst doing my majors - i had to get permission from the dean to take an extra course - because my media studies course had incorrectly allocated my 'points' for each class i took, so i was lacking and i needed to make some up in order to graduate on time. i found this out at the last minute and by mistake.

but THIS time i am BEYOND irritated. i'm not easily made mad. and if i am , it usually blows over in an hour. THIS TIME, it is sunday. and i am still fuming. i even took it out on thomas. because -

by mid december, i had not received anything from wits about my masters. i phoned them. they told me i had provisional acceptance, they just needed to wait for all my honours marks to be finalised before sending me a firm offer. fine. i understand they are slow. by mid january however, i started getting a little grrrrr. so i phoned them. and phoned them. i bugged their administrative asses for days and they all gave me the same answer - my marks had not yet been moderated and that after the 24th, i would get my firm offer. the 24th came and went, i gave them a few days for the mail to get to my house. by friday- enough was enough. i went in personaly and explained my dilemma. she went off to 'find' my application form. which , after about 39 minutes, she delightedly presented to me.

"whoops!', she said, "we forgot to accept you."

WHOOPS?!?! Uh uh honey, you dont WHOOPS my life! she THEN says
"oh dear, i hope they still have room for you." meaning for the renewal of my scholarship from last year.

i hightail it over to the scholarships office where i deal with an intern *sigh*

she takes my student card and comes back after checking something on the computer.
"um you need to give me your marks."
"excuse me?!", i say, "my marks are on the computer
"no they're not. how long have you been at wits? are you an international student?"
"i have been here for FIVE years and NO i have lived in joburg since 1984 which was the year of my BIRTH."

she blinks at me. i tell her to fetch me someone else. someone else comes.

they EVENTUALLY find my 'marks' and the other lady calls me aside,
"*sigh* my sweetie ... tell me...what is the percent you need for honours to get a renewal of your scholarship?"

"70%" i say

"yes, so therefore we reject you because of your marks!"

"EXCUSE ME?!?"

"you did not get high enough marks"

(at this point, for my foreign readers, let me explain to you - south african university marks differ greatly to usa grading. an 'A' is 75 % upwards. a 'B' is 70% - 74% etc etc and it is difficult to , especially in the social sciences, get above 70%. its easy to pass, but you'll find yourself averaging a good mark in the 60s.)

anyway - i DEMANDED to see my marks and how they added them together. long irritating story short, she had added my marks incorrectly, divided them by the wrong number of subjects and HORRORS! they didnt even have one of my marks. my best mark. the masters politics course in genocide that they had kindly agreed to let me, as an honours intl relations student take and that i worked my butt off in and came top of the frigging class and they didnt even bother to put my mark on the system!!!

i almost passed out with indignation

i have to go back tomorrow while they try 'fix' the mistake and see if there is 'place for me'.

like i said - Burn.The.Place.Down

grrrrrr

on the fact that i am definitely flypaper for the odd

2007-02-01T08:31:00.001-08:00

my ex boyfriend - yes, the one who everyone urged me to date thus flinging my commitment issues off the cliff because he was 'so lovely' and who then lied and cheated with his now ex best friends girlfriend like a (beware the coming stereotype) real man - and his family and his 'ho have been stalking me lately.

everywhere i go. its been a comedy of errors that must have come about of no other reason other than the fact that in a previous life i did something unspeakable to the gods.

today, his father came into the store and, after a hug and a 20 minute small talk conversation, he invited me to move into his house and look after the two little kids for 2 weeks whilst he jets to vietnam.

his son and i dont talk because i think he is closely related to the devil (albeit the dim witted relative) and his father invites me to move in?

the weird people just keep a'knocking

an aside : the goverment is flinging about the idea of bringing back conscription as a means to end violent crime... thoughts?

a tale

2007-01-27T04:31:00.000-08:00

Book store ... saturday morning ... an elderly indian man approaches unsuspecting book seller...

EIM : ahem are you the manager?

UBS : no sorry, she has already left

EIM : Oh then maybe you could help me?

UBS : Of course!

EIM : well, i am not from here, i am from canada and my niece, who is young, is getting married and i need to get her something. you see... she does not know very much ... anything at all ... about sex and those acts

UBS : uuuuuhhhhhh .... okaaaay - i can show you the section and you can look through the titles and see if there is something suitable

Unsuspecting Book Seller leads Elderly Indian Man to the section with Karma Sutra's and Yoga For Lovers and the like

EIM : weeell... i saw this one title over here can you come with me and tell me if it's good?

UBS : okaaaaay

EIM leads UBS Into the CHILDREN'S SECTION

EIM : this one -

hands UBS 'All American Girl : Ready or Not' by meg cabot (the woman who writes the princess diaries)

UBS : ummm this is fiction. children's fiction

EIM : yes but look at the title! 'ready or not'!?! are you sure it isn't the kind of thing i want?

UBS : No

they walk back towards the other section

EIM : ok , which one would you reccommend?

UBS : I really wouldn't know... you can browse through the titles?

there is a second of silence ... UBS takes this opportunity to run away

EIM, after 45 minutes of browsing, purchases 'Sex, Lies & Relationships'

THE END

i can't stop thinking about the moon

2007-01-24T03:26:00.000-08:00

for some reason it's really bothering me

so ... quick poll -

who believes we put a man on the moon and who believes it was a ruse! a scam! ?

tears, diamonds and props to Djimon

2007-01-22T08:50:00.001-08:00

i cried in my 3rd movie yesterday. first was 'amistad', second 'the green mile' (for reasons i cannot fathom) and yesterday - 'blood diamond'

firstly... - SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENTS! why oh why why why? why?!? it was funny. shaks said it was a little forced and i agree whole heartedly, but i suppose you need to compare it to other attempts...it managed to do something nobody thought possible - push nicole kidman's attempt in 'the interpreter' even further down the accent scale. according to a review i read, the SA accent is one of the hardest to learn and, like shaks and i were saying, it's not like charlize can even speak in her old accent * sigh* but still.

"Usually Hollywood movies about Africa and South Africa are a source of hilarity to local audiences as Hollywood tends to get so many details about this country wrong. Who can forget Joss Ackland's atrocious “Afrikaans” accent as the villainous apartheid-era ambassador in Lethal Weapon II, for instance? Or that ornamental Nazi eagle in his office (come on, which Department of Foreign Affairs official's office ever looked like that?) Or how about the Nazi-like paraphernalia adorning the podium as the celluloid Jimmy Kruger made his notorious “Biko died after a hunger strike” speech in Cry Freedom?

But what South African audiences usually find the most entertaining (or insulting, depending on your sense of humour) is when Hollywood actors attempt a Seth Effrikan accent. However, in Blood Diamond we're happy to say that while DiCaprio doesn't always get the accent right, he at least gets the character spot on. Or maybe the role was just well-written, as the screenplay at least seems decently researched with an eye for detail and an ear for the local tongue. “Doos,” DiCaprio's character murmurs when faced by an officious soldier, which had the audience I was with laugh appreciatively. DiCaprio has aged well enough to fit this role; no longer the fresh-faced boy star of Titanic, he is more credible as a tough action man than, let's say, the soft-faced Colin Farrell in Miami Vice. Cynical and opportunistic, DiCaprio comes off like an boer seun Han Solo, spouting the sort of political incorrect dialogue one imagine a character like him would in real life. "

apart from that, the only bone of contention is the fact that there are machine gun wielding soldiers all over stellenbosch! where where where are these people in real life?

i really loved the movie and i urge everyone to go see it. i found it violent, but to some i suppose it would not be that bad (considering we live in the world of CNN war broadcasts and play station) but I was shocked and sickened and i realised something i think i have always known :

the bad in this world is the result of some large power trips. that's all it is. some people who should not be listened to or given the right to make their own decisions are given power and it rushes straight to their heads. to pick on the obvious - george 'dubbya' and his bunch of world police : it's not a nation of idiots, its a nation controlled by an idiot. my deputy manager - power trip. rebels - power trips. saddam - power trips. apartheid - power trip. hitler - power trip. fundamentally, i think this power trip consists of somebody who experiences a loss of respect for other people directly proportional to the boosting of his/her own ego. and with this loss of respect it becomes easier to enslave (physically, ideologically), rape, murder.

how do you stop a massive world wide power trip? i'm daunted.

On a good note - I am awed by Djimon Hounsou ... he is in Amistad, GLadiator (to name a few) apart from Blood Diamond. He moved to the USA from Benin when he was 13, could not find a job and so was forced to live on the streets as a vagrant eating out of rubbish bins. Apparently his life changed when Thierry Mugler found him and hired him as a model. He now makes movies that educate people. (He is so awesome, I even gave him capital letters)

i hope that, if nothing, people will see this movie and open their eyes a bit more about africa, how what they do in their own countries can severely hinder or help someone far far removed from their own existences. and that someone, somewhere out there will make it their mission in life to help someone else speak in a real south african accent ;)

thank you charles and otto!

2007-01-19T09:18:00.001-08:00

only very slightly stealing this idea from my friend ryan's last post (http://robgordon5.blogspot.com) where he thanked the inventor of the avocado peeler. this is a day where i need to say thank you to two very special men.

thank you, Charles I of England, for making your chef make a dessert that was 'fresh- fallen snow but was much creamier and sweeter' aka ice cream. thank you. even though you died because you were too selfish to share it with the world. 'The King wanted the delicacy to be served only at the Royal table and offered the cook 500 pounds a year to keep it that way. Sometime later, however, poor Charles fell into disfavour with his people and was beheaded in 1649. But by that time, the secret of the frozen cream remained a secret no more. The cook, named DeMirco, had not kept his promise.' so, by default i guess, thank you, DeMirco!

most importantly, thank you otto wichterle for inventing the contact lense! although leo da vinci had some pretty good designs, you were the one who saw it through and enabled me to see without wearing glasses the thickness of bottle tops. "Because of his open activities during 1968 and particularly after the August Soviet-led occupation, the "normalisation" regime punished Otto Wichterle by removing him from his executive positions and by gradually making his research work more difficult." its like mccarthyism ... how silly to stop people doing research and things simply because you are scared of an idea ... freedom of a nation but still abide by the harnessing of thoughts ... hypocrisy! i think that if your notion of governance is good enough, then it will not be torn down by anything else. (look at me descending into pompous political babble again! sorry... i try so hard!)

and so tonight, after work, i will go home and get into my pjs and, before i pop out my lenses, i will watch some Anderson Cooper 360 that i recorded firstly because i am a geek and secondly i can because i will actually be able to see. and then i will eat a bowl of ice cream simply because i can. its a hommage.

and now, you know!

globalisation and your argument is really stupid

2007-01-15T00:22:00.000-08:00

like most 'academic' wannabe know-it-alls, i enjoy engaging in banter about issues. however, i tend to enjoy it most when talking with people who actually know what the heck is going on and i most definitely switch off when said banter turns into an argument where i have to defend myself to people.

saturday night / sunday morning i had the pleasure of taking part in a conversation with someone who had just decided she was feverently opposed to globalisation mainly because it wasn't 'pretty'. in short, her hometown wasn't what it was when she was 9. it had increased, building and construction was abounding and johannesburg no longer 'represented africa' because, according to her, we live in africa because we like open spaces. i hated to break it to her, but urban sprawl is a reality because, keep this on the downlow, but jo'burg is a CITY and cities generally have places. apparently globalisation is bad because her home town is less 'pretty'

growth will happen whether people want it to or not and, if it bothers you, then adopt a cause and do something (keyword) constructive like starting a call for more parks or protected areas. demanding that people stop movement towards growth is not a solution to anything. tom and i both find fake tuscan architecture visually affronting, but the fact is, it is cheap and provides more housing - we dont have to buy it and live in one, but if more people can, i really dont think it matters much how pretty we find it!

an ode to engineers

2007-01-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

today tom and i went to give angelo (the lovely engineer who rescued us last friday with the flat tyre) a thank you present in roodepoort. as we were driving back, thomas ran out of petrol. despite gustav (his car's) incessant beeping, we did not put any petrol in and thus we broke down. we then pushed gustav up onto the pavement where we were shouted at by this silly security guard who told us that the traffic cop would fine us. unfortuntely, gustav did not have his wings with him and thus we, on command, were not able to fly away. we then trudged up some road in northcliff to the garage where the attendants laughed at us, so hard that the one almost fell over. we trudged back, clutching a large canister of fuel.

when we got back to gustav, we did not have a pipe through which to pour the petrol and so tom poured it over my hand (no, i am not high ... for some reason i only get high on jik - the one time i sat in a puddle of it at work and i could bearly function. it was scary hazy fun) i digress - and so this bakkie of engineers stopped and helped us.

i will never laugh at engineers again
i will never make fun of them when they do not wear shoes
i will let them have 'dress up friday' on campus ... even if they wear speedos and pink flippers

pondering the possible mutation of my sanity

2007-01-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

... i am scared because there is evidence that shows that there are certain traits that are easily passed from generation to generation, sometimes even becoming advanced along the lines of genetic mutations

SOME of my family members are crazy

i'm talking insane

HIJACK!!!

2007-01-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

konichiwa people

this is thomas. i am hijacking her blog.

ha ha

bye.

what to do what to do what to do

2007-01-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

help me

what do you do when someone you really love and admire as she is a lovely person and so smart and funny and she is dating a complete twat?!?

i dont want to say anything, i guess, as we arent THAT close (we dont phone each other up every day and discuss our dreams and fears) and so i dont think i have enough of a swing vote or anything and i dont want to lose her as a friend

but WHY do people date twats? love is blind, yes, but surely NOT THAT blind

(and no i'm not being judgemental. he is a TWATTY PRAT. its scientifically proven)

the birthday of thomas subtitled comedy of errors

2007-01-06T03:22:00.002-08:00

yesterday was (as he likes to call it) the day of st thomas the divine and since shaks and i couldnt go to gold reef city with them (i still haven't been it's an abomination really) we decided to go out for a celebratory drink after work.

we were driving merrily along (really merrily... we were singing 'funky town' by lipps inc which is the ultimate cheerily cheery song) when all of a sudden (!) out of nowhere (!) WHAM the road gave way into a huge gaping hole (of doom!). thomas swerved around it to avoid our certain untimely deaths. we shuddered to a stop on a grate and all hopped out of the car to gather around the car and look at it, as one is want to do in that situation since sitting in the back seat continuing to sing 'funky town' probably wouldn't fix the tyre.

the tyre was popped. completely. flat flat flat. i have never seen a proper flat tyre in real life (my 22 years on this earth have seemingly been truly secluded). i was thus impressed with the level of flatness. mikey and tom, adopting impressive levels of masculinity, propped the car up on tom's little jack and began using other tools to do other things. the jack collapsed. under the car for absolutely no reason! malice of the jack. so Shaks and i ran across the road to the garage aka service station (where we wanted to buy chocolate milkshake) but instead went about finding help. we found a man called gift who informed us that the garage did not have a jack (!) and that we would have to ask someone for help.

i made a beehive (hahahahaaa shaks will get this inside joke) for a man who had just innocently parked his car and was going to the shop.

"hello," i said, "do you have a jack?"
"yes," he said

and so he followed us to the scene of the breakdown where mike and tom gasped at the beauty of angelo's jack (apparently it was a beautiful specimen.) and they proceeded, with gift from the engen garage to change the tyre. just as we managed to screw in 2 of the 6 bolts with the spanner (or as tommy calls it, a screw tightener), gift dropped the spanner into the grate. we tried, as in the movies, to lift the grate and then to pick up the spanner using a twisted piece of wire , but neither worked.

we had nothing left to do but to run into the road and flag down another audi who duly did a u turn and came with their spanner and we managed to fix everything.

i am happy because we met such lovely people last night - angelo, the audi people, gift, the man who lived in the house next to the hole and other people (whom i christened marty and allan) who stopped to ask if we were ok.

and like i said, we got the easy version of a breakdown. we stopped across the road from a garage,we had a spare tyre, we had gift, we had cell phones with signal and we were together with angelo who was an engineer. we could have been on a dirt farm road with no cell phone battery, no tyre and scary creatures howling into the moonlight. it was like the time sarah c and i broke down and we were sad until we realised we had broken down in the parking lot of sandton and we went to have coffee until we were rescued

... i REALLY need to learn how to change a tyre (ok ok i need to learn how to DRIVE but its all the same really)

"vengeance of the victors"

2007-01-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

(my LAST rant about Saddam... yes... but this guys comments from Newsweek is so good and he makes a great point)

by fareed zakaria

"The saga of Saddam's end - his capture, trial and execution is a sad metephor for America's occupation of Iraq. What might have gone right went so wrong. It is worth remembering that Saddam Hussein was not your run of the mill dictator. He created one of the most brutal, corrupt and violent regimes in modern history, something akin to Stalin's Soviet Union, Mao's China or Kim Jong Il's North Korea. Whatever the strategic wisdom for the United States, deposing him began as something unquestionably good for Iraq. But soon th Bush administration dismissed the idea of trying Saddam under international law, or in a court with ant broader legitimacy. This is the administration, after all, that could see little advantage to a United Nations mandate for its own invasion and occupation. It put Saddam's fate in the hands of the new Iraqi government dominated by Shi'ite and Kurdish politicians who had been victims of his reign. As a result, Saddam's trial which should have been the jedgement of a civilised society against a tyrant is now seen by iraq's sunnis and much of the Arab world as a farce reflecting only the victor's vengeance...
... Iraq is a tough place - but the Bush administration is not quite so blameless. IT thoughtlessly engineered a political and social revolution as intense as the FRench or Iranian one and then seemed surprised that Iraq could bot digest it happily, peacably and quickly. WE did not give them a republic. We gave them a civil war."

And that , in my opinion, is that

an opinion piece

2006-12-30T03:33:00.000-08:00

saddam has been executed.

i watched on sky news as they showed every single minute of it up until they put the noose over his head.

i cannot understand it. i am a chronic fence sitter - i swing many ways in an argument because i find a lot of points valid. i understand why china wants taiwan and i understand why taiwan wants to be its own state. i understand the basis of 'fundamentalism' and i understand anti 'terrorist' movements. i DO NOT in any manner or form understand or advocate the killing of another human being. i dont care what your reason is or what your excuse is. there is nothing that makes it right (accidents or self defense i suppose have their own case specifics)

[Thomas and i just had a conversation about fence sitting. he said 'do you think you are really a fence sitter?' and i said 'well, on a lot of things yes but i have my own topics that i'd fight for tooth and nail' ... to clarify ... by fence sitting i mean that i think i'm swayed sometimes not to abandon my own convictions but to 'modify' them in a way i hope depicts growth...?

tom wants to say something - except when it comes to legalising prostitution, where Sarah and I sit on opposite sides of the... 'Ho Wall'.. (haha)... (flip Ma'am is HOT - that we DO agree on)... she is against legalising prostitution, and I am for it, and we just cannot seem to agree on anything no matter how hard we RAH RAH RAH at each other about it.]

ANYWAY and so when you kill someone in order to punish them for killing someone, all you do is promote a sick cycle! how can you begin to account for your own killing of someone sinply in abhorrence of murder? it doesn't ring true in my own ears. and whilst i know everyone views it differently, the argument that seems to abound against me is 'if someone did something awful to a family member of mine then i'd want them to face the highest punishement available.' well... personally, in my case, there are people who i hold accountable for some awful things in my own life but i would never ever use that as an excuse for killing them back. there are better alternatives. but that is just me and my family bands me about for being too much of a 'humanitarian' whatever THAT means... i certainly dont take it as an insult.

saddam was executed. and that says something. it says something different to different people but to me it speaks volumes about the world we live in. (and the role of the media - making money and a sort of entertainment around death) and i am saddened by it.

i never ever keep resolutions BUT...

2006-12-28T06:59:00.000-08:00

... THIS will be the year i do!! and i say that every single year. and i never keep any of them. but this year will be different. know why? i'll tell you - its because this year (2006) was the first year ever that i didnt open a single christmas pressie before christmas morning. you see, my family has that annoying habit of celebrating christmas on christmas eve and we open all our family pressies on the eve. and now that i am too old for father christmas to visit me. i dont get anything to open on christmas day (which is sooo wrong according to my materialist side) and so this year i decided to collect whatever friend presents i got (which was a LOT thanks everyone!) and open them christmas morning. suffice to say, every single morning over coffee was a battle. a battle so forceful it tore me apart. frugal idealist sarah vs impatient gimme gimme sarah. these two characters have battled it out MANY a time before and i am ashamed to say, impatience always won. but this time i took not even one single peek! not one! and so now i am trying to make resolutions that i will be able to keep in my newly found age of determination!

so far i will

i) be a nicer person... vague i know... but i have DEFINITE room for improvement and i think vagueness is good for this kind of resolution because then i can expand it into everything!

ii) be healthier ... this HAS to be the most common resolution of all time

iii) learn how to drive ... my BIGGEST grievance and obstinate fear in life... i think i'll need help!

iv) be better with money ... i'm TERRIBLE. i need to be more aware of what i do with money

v) stop being a pansy ... i need to take more risks

vi) study with resolve ... i float on by ... i need to be concrete in my learning and i plan on becoming well read in :
- genocide
- climate change and
- classic novels

vii) start singing again ... i would like to take professional singing lessons again ... it's been years

viii) get cath to teach me the basics of the violin

what are all your resolutions?

little miss church

2006-12-26T05:07:00.001-08:00

sometimes my gran can be so dry without realising it and i laugh and laugh for days at what she says (which is sometimes uncomfortable because she usually says these things in church and nuns are very good at giving you the disdainful shrivelling look that makes you feel as though you have sinned beyond reproach)

yesterday at christmas mass (yes... once again... nobody wanted to go to midnight mass with me because they were sloshed out on brandy tipsy tart and so we ended up going to the frigging mass at DAWN (apt). the new priest (i am sure this is such blasphemony but i find him slightly irritating.) its weird - the irish priests all seem to know so much more and dont speak twaddle like the south african ones seem to. he was going on and on about how south africa has become consumed by materialism and secularism and THEN proceeds to call all the children up to the alter and ask them what they got for christmas. it just didnt gel and it didnt mesh with my love of pomp and ceremony that goes along with catholicism. anyhoo, there's this one little girl who pushed all the other children out of the way so that she could get to the front of the church before anyone else and she started bossing the deacon around. gran rolled her eyes and said in a sigh
'there goes little miss church again' ... it reminded me of 'little miss sunshine' a movie i LOVED and i canned my way through the rest of the ceremony (i think it was more exhaustion that hysterics)

but now i'm internally naming people things again. i'm very much a nickname giver - i like them better than people's real names... i mean chewy pen boy! how cool? ;)

it is almost 2007 - i think it will be a good year. i mean, lover of even numbers, acknowledge that 7 is a great number! plus 27 is my family lucky number. but apart from superstitious encouragements, i think it will be a good year because of the opportunities that abound! my gran is always telling me about 'growth years'... she says that being headmistress she got to see a lot of growth in young'uns but that there are specific years for everyone where they grow within themselves. 2006 was a growth year for me. i'm a lot calmer. a lot less judgemental but also a lot more weary of people. Obvious as it may sound, i realised how much i dont know (no no Mike - my brother - i AM still always right without a shadow of a doubt, but sometimes i just need some tweaking in opinion). i realised this year how much deeper everything goes - i'm the kind of person who believes that we are prone to overcomplicate things - dont make things harder than they are. its dumb. but at the same time - people cannot be immediately summed up. things go deeper than simple surface measures. (which is a nice way of saying that i've become a little wearier trusting people immediately)

2007 - have a good year! and make it interesting so that none of you phone me up with boring ass stories ;) just kidding, i love the phone! phone me! phone me now! seriously... at work... its boring

xx

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2006-12-25T22:57:00.000-08:00

dear everyone

merry merry christmas christmas

i only wish the most wonderful things for you in 2007 ...

love you all

sarah

i cannot think of an inspired title because i am suffering from brain degeneration and lack of sleep

2006-12-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

just finished reading : "special topics in calamity physics"

dont judge a book by its cover. usually i'd disagree ... i'm prone to thinking that if the cover isn't inspired enough to give insight into the book then it's not worth it. awful , i know ... judgemental too, but (to paraphrase a quote i read somewhere some time - 'life is too short to learn german') - life is too short to read a crappy book. this book is great. its intelligent and tiring (i could NOT have written this because I would have been too exhausted) and very very eccentric. and a lot of people wont like it. but i did because i like books that are different - i get to read a LOT... all the new books in fact ... and many of them are the same. interchangeable. this one is good. and the cover (in my opinion) reeks of 'chick lit' and should be done away with because it puts a lot of people off.

And there was a really good bit i wanted to quote here for you all, but i cant remember what page it is on - the 514 page book is so intensive by the time i got to the end i bearly remember what had happened in the beginning. if anyone out there reads it (and some of you will ... well ... ONE of you will because you're getting it for christmas) ;) please let me know what you think.

in other extremely important news - i went shopping with grandmere today. it was long. i'm talking 4 hours long. and we were in rosebank and all we went to was musica, woolworths, clicks and the fishmonger. i forget how long it takes her to walk places.

its fun with grams ... we were attended to by a pierced stoned shop assistant "how on earth does he blow his nose with that thing in there?" pondered grams. and when she wanted to order some judy dench dvd thing (grams LOVES the woman... wants to be her), she gave him MY number and commanded him to phone me because she would be 'unreachable' ..... riiiiight grams. she laughed.

"look sarahkins ... there is a dress for you!" (after i had pointed out this beautiful dress in stoned cherry that i love and covet but is waaay too expensive and when i am an ambassador i will buy it with my government credit cards and grams said she would save and buy it for my birthday and i told her to sew it and i think she just might... i digress) and pointed in a window.

"grams... ahem... that's a lingerie shop. that is a 'teddy'"

"oh. i thought it a bit skimpy"

last night shaks, tom and i went to see 'casino royale'. yawn. firstly : i have never stayed awake for an entire bond movie before, i think they are dumb. however, last night i managed to stay awake- but that was not because it was riveting but because the slush puppie i had to drink was in a carton big enough to bathe a baby seal in and so i had a lot of sugar. secondly : daniel craig? no. not a bond. shame... he tries though. thirdly : it was this odd grating montage of violence and super uberly cheesy lines. so - suffice to say, i was not super impressed. but for what it was? i didn't hate it ;)

pictures from sarah # 1's 21st

2006-12-09T09:10:00.000-08:00

promised i'd put up a few photos from sarah # 1#s 21st! (i am sarah #2) ;)

hot john , mike (the wufflet) and chris

the table decor

greg, jono, vanny and the welbster (ryan)

caity, dustin, helen, jono and sarah #1

sarah # 1, abby, beth and me :)

i forget things

2006-12-02T05:58:00.000-08:00

i can't tell you how many times i am driving (ahem being driven) down the highway or am walking in a mall or am reading something and i exclaim 'oh i am so going to blog that!' ... something funny i've just thought of or i've just seen and then i immediately forget it. i have in recent days COMPLETELY forgotten what it is i am looking for whilst in the act of looking. i think my brain might be beginning its degeneration process.
it's worrying. i might need to start making lists. i'll be that sad sad girl walking around with a notebook and a pen shouting 'cease the fun! i need a moment to write down in point form this very important anecdote so that people (the majority of whom will actually be with me when i yell 'cease the fun .... 'etc) can read about it!'. sad

shaks... what did i say on thursday that i wanted to blog? ... i told you, do you remember?

i have been tagged by tom. but, unfortunately, the mozilla firefox we use at work does not copy and paste and i cannot remember how to do it 'manually' because i did not pay a single second of attention during my year of computer science (i went through a crazy phase in grade 11 when i took 9 subjects instead of 6 and didnt really pay attention in any of them... good times) so i am going to do it later. i am too lazy to rewrite it all.

i cried 2 days straight at work. i have had an awful time! i have (in my opinion) been both verbally and racially abused and discriminated against and i am planning to take action against it. i never cry. never. not because i try be hard core or anything, but simply because i have a pretty tough skin... but this week has been horrid. everyone is saying i should quit. no. i will stand up for myself. and i am being told i am 'difficult' and have an 'attitude' when all it really is is the fact that nobody else ever stands up for themselves and so voicing one's own rights is seen as undermining 'authority'. well, i'm sorry. i will NOT back down. i need rent money. and i am not going to go find another job when i know i am leaving in june anyway and, besides training for something new in the beginning of masters, i would hate leaving people in the lurch. so here i am. being 'stubborn' as some have said ... in my head? - i know the 'authority' here will make my life difficult for the next 6 months... but it's tit for tat and i can make theirs just as difficult! and get paid an hourly rate for it! paid pig headedness.
i will not be bullied or trampled on.

an ode to warsaw

2006-11-26T06:18:00.000-08:00

poland. we love you. for this is where KINDER JOY eggs are created and packaged with such loving care! i have a problem! i am addicted to them! the toy! the chocolatey goodness! the asthetically pleasing orange and white packaging! i am creating a collection of little creatures on my book shelf and if you are one of those people who bring shaks and me presents into the store - no more freshly ground cds! no more half drunk bottles of juice! no more fake roses! the way into our hearts is more simple and costs R7 a pop .... hint hint

OH MY HAT did anyone else hear that we (south africa) is not getting any more carbon (or whatever) delivered until february and that this means that we might run out of CREME SODA! over the christmas period! what an abomination! makro here i come. who drives a car with a huuuuge boot? i need to stock up. (its also stuff like coke lite and fanta ... but CREME SODA??? come on!)

3 of my 4 dogs went to the doggy parlour. they did a TERRIBLE job! the scotties look like little black pigs. seriously. i was like 'aaaaaahhhh what AAAAARE you????" when they came scuttling towards me the other day. and poor sabrina (the newfoundland). i dont know if they thought she was an overgrown poodle or something but they shaved her except for her head and she looks absolutely ridiculous! she's so embarrassed she sits in the bushes with her head inbetween her paws.

who out there has ideas for new years??!?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAKTI! and some musings about life (turn back now!)... oh and maybe some family history thrown in for good measure

2006-11-11T10:07:00.000-08:00

birthdays...
...
the passing of another year!

do you all have that feeling that i have right now? that 'whew this year is almost over i can now catch up on all my sleep whilst eating mince pies by the glow of flickering fairy lights?' but also think 'oh my hat where the heck has all the time gone? have i done anything this year? before you know it i will be booked into an old age home and eating soup for supper at 3 in the afternoon'

i know in the states and maybe the uk (?) the university terms and stuff only have their year end during their july summer period. here, this is our long summer holiday. so it truly feels like the end of the year. its like the calendar year is done! university is done! and once you get into postgrad, its like 'hmmmmm i am still studying and there are people out there [people I KNOW!] who are going out there and getting real jobs and doing things that matter and i will be sitting in class and complaining about writing a thesis and returning library books a week late.' so excuse me for the complaining tone... i am using it to cover up the fact that i'm a little scared. you people feeling me? and i came across some quote about how fear is a beautiful thing because it lets you achieve things by overcoming what you're afraid of. HOGWASH i say! TWADDLE! let all things be handed to us on a silver platter by a pretty british butlers called jeeves! ;)

yes, i hear you. i hear you in the back of the room standing on your chair yelling 'sarah you're speaking such NONSENSE you twit! you love the hard nuances of life, they make you the tough nut you are' yes, back of the room person (my inner conscience maybe?) i hear you. and i have to agree... life would be awfully boring if it were easy.although a few less grey hairs would be nice. tough nuts.

yes. its that time of year. where the musings are ripe. and you look back fondly on your youth ;)

my uncle steve has been embarking on finding out about our family history :
some titbits :

2 members of my family (at different times) were exiled from ireland after being labelled traitors

the one and only knight we have in our family was the gov-general of natal

there was some dude who fought for american independence called john cadwallader and now the Daughters of the American Revolution (whoever they may be) are offering me membership because of my 'historical right'

the newspaper my family created in natal (to pimp ourselves) still exists! its called the natal witness. i, somehow, have this feeling of indignation that i do not own it. so 'historical right' is only privvy to patriotism? bah humbugs. www.witness.co.za

our castle in scotland burnt down in a tragic fire sometime ages ago. (if it existed i would also feel indignation that i was not living in it right now)

* indignation.... feeling of the moment...*

good luck to you all! for examinations (those of you still writing), luck for those living in foreign countries and making it work, those of you feeling like foreigners in your own country, luck to those of you who will soon be catching little animals (ie mole rats) in desert excursions. but, luck to all of us about to embark on the end of year family christmas period. we'll all need it! ;)

When I Am In A Place I Feel Uncomfortable In I Like To Pretend I Am Someone Important And Have A Secret Identity

2006-11-03T01:44:00.000-08:00

I’ve come to realise that I am a secret agent. Like in The Incredibles , only I’m not completely sure what my mission is yet. I’m waiting for someone to hand me a brief and a cool weapons kit with a secret ray gun and a compass. So until that moment comes, I have decided that I need to start training in preparation. So, in the last two days, I have watched three political thrillers (one not so much a thriller as a sleep aid) and am busy watching Air Force One. I never knew I liked Harrison Ford. He’s actually quite cool.

I love angry Russian rebels. They are all broody and heavy eye-lidded. You just couldn’t have an angry rebel movie with the angry rebels played by any other nationality. The Russian accent is a genetic rebel miracle. Yuri, pass me the vodka before I kill the filthy political prisoners. Kazakhstan and the Bolsheviks unite! The French rebels would just sound like pansies - all la di da and flowery poetry… they could play rebels, but the Broadway musical version of them. Germans? No one would understand what the hell they were saying. Plus they’d eat too many apple strudels and forget what they were saying. Hitler and the Nazi’s showed that Germany can actually be quite organised and scary with their handshakes and salutes and widescale discrimination and stuff , but you can’t have organised rebel groups because then how will Harrison Ford and Samuel L Jackson ever defeat them with America and the world in jeopardy? No no that just won’t do. Besides – and this has to be the number one reason – Russians have the coolest eye brows. You can tell a Russian from a mile away. That would really help in rebel identification.

(sarcasm aside i really like the germans... misunderstood bunch villanised in the movies)

what i have just said

2006-10-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

book store... busy satuday afternoon shift... sarah is angry... for she is dressed in a stupid white nylon shirt for the double points promotion. she flat out refused to wear it but then was forced to conceed by her stupid manager man who refused to leave until she put it on and then yelled at her... they only ordered XL so sarah and shakti are dressed in white tents...

man : "hi where are your bestsellers?"
Sarah Bookseller : "ummm there is no specific section... what are you looking for in particular?"
man: "i have a friend's birthday"
SB : "Soo.... fiction? non fiction?"
man : "business or autobiography"
SB : "Oh 'Screw it let's do it?'"

(side note : 'Screw it let's do it' is a famous and very popular book written by RIchard Branson)

man : blink blink.... "excuse me?"
SB : realising what she has said : "ummm its over there" points at shelf
man : "oo-o-oh it's a book? i thought...." grins
SB : "hahahah. No." makes shakti help the customer

i can't help it people. Double entendres are my game!

thomas says i am boring

2006-10-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

no really

he just sat down and told me that nobody wants to read my blog because it is boring... well, thomas! you can bite me, bambi!

and so here goes the story of why tom shows me such animosity -

it all started when we were about 11 years old and at school together and tommy dear decided to give me a valentine. well, suffice to say, i felt abhorred by this. i have no idea why, but i needed to do something about it. so i proceeded to flush it down the toilet. and so, ever since then, tom has sworn off the fairer sex (for ever...) and has been really really mean to me. and i think it's about time it stops! ;)

it is finally raining. for about 3 days now, it's been really hot - around 35 degrees - and i have been dying. irish catholic skin never bodes well for heat and i have been lying on my bed, in front of my fan, whittling the nights away. couldnt go to fuel cafe. couldnt go for drinks. and now, bless the heavens for they have opened and i can hear the thunder through the thin walls of our shop. it reminds me of the time we got lost in the arabian desert on our way back from an illegal bottle store and it began to POUR and we switched dave's GPRS on hin his car and it said 'you are in the arabian gulf' and we said 'yes thats nice, but that is the ocean and we are not there'

the end

free advertising for laura

2006-10-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

... 'free advertising'... oxymoron! you will probably pay later. he he he

anyhoo

laura has a blog! yay!

please visit it. it's called 'I dont want a blog' and the address is http://noblog4laura.blogspot.com

tra la la

aaaand finally! the main reason international celebrities love jo'burg!

2006-10-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

Caprice has bought a house here. and now... on my way to work and to varsity... there is a huuuuge... i'm talking HUGE billboard of Caprice in a skimpy bikini on the side of the highway. announcing that she is launching : "Debbie Does Dallas... the Musical!" at the state theatre

oh goody!

15 random things about me

2006-10-20T05:17:00.000-07:00

i’ve been tagged
and i now tag helen ... hahahahahahahaaa

i) i find the post office to be one scary place. dono why there’s just something about it that yells ‘protect yourself!’ at me

ii) i have 2 birth certificates and 2 id numbers. it’s like the world is trying to persuade me to be schizophrenic

iii) i love watching award shows … for anything. They once had some award thingy on this Chinese channel for Chinese soap stars. That was awesome. Didn’t understand what was going on, but that’s the beauty of soap stars… their eyebrows tell stories.

iv) I’ve never shoplifted. Except when I was shopping at woolworths once, they didn’t charge me for something and I noticed at the end, but was in a hurry and didn’t go back and tell them and was wracked with guilt. So I went back the next day and asked them to let me pay and they said no it was their mistake, yet I still feel guilty…

v) They misdiagnosed me with a heart problem when I was younger and had to go on some trial medication and after a few months they realised there was nothing wrong with me and took me off it. But, the side effects of this drug still live on : my skin is very very sensitive and so I burn immediately. That coupled with the history of skin cancer in my family means that I tend to stay out of the sun and cover up a lot.

vi) I thought I was so super smart in Grade 11 when I did a 3rd year diploma in Latin from the University of Pretoria. However, I got there to write the exam in November and found myself surrounded by little home schooled 12 year olds who were all completing degrees and felt like a numbnut.

vii) For some reason people I know are all jumping on the ‘star in an advert’ bandwagon. Warren (the bouncer) is ‘cheesy crowd man’ in the annoying vodacom meerkat breakdancing ad. Damon is ‘watching tv’ man in the aero chunky ad. And that’s only in the past week.

viii) the last time I set something on fire was last night. I was at vanny’s house reading her newspaper and I set it alight on the stove.

ix) I have set myself on fire before. 4 times.

x) I could speak Zulu before I could speak English… my mom was a Zulu teacher (amongst others) but I’ve lost it all

xi) If I had known the last musical theatre production I was in was going to be my last for a while, I would have made a concerted effort to enjoy it more. I miss it.

xii) All of the major injuries I have sustained have been caused by me dancing around the house to songs such as the Ghostbusters Theme Song, The Grease Soundtrack and the classic hit ‘Cant Touch This’ and falling off the couch in the process.

xiii) My eyesight is so bad (contact lenses) that my hearing ability evolved to make up for it (no seriously). I can hear about 2 decibels above and one below normal humans. I also boast an excellent ability to eavesdrop.

xiv) I have a lot of grey hair. I pull it out. Or make mike do it.

xv) My passion in life is genocide and that sounds odd. When I’d go to class I’d say ‘oh goody I have genocide now’ and people would look at me funny. So I now make a concerted effort to say ‘genocide prevention’ makes me seem less of a rogue… I think

solving the worlds problems in a single afternoon

2006-10-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

i have this great professor who , when faced with anything - a wayward essay, a frantic student, potential destruction of the entire universe, he takes it, makes a few jokes and then tells us his plans to fix it

yesterday in class we had a discussion about north korea (who, like i've said before, i have a soft spot for because of the debates that shaks and i have represented them at. when you start thinking like a rogue, you start loving them) and nuclear weaponry. considering that in my other class, we basically have to solve the iranian nuclear crisis in order to get an A and my professor (damn him!!) thought it funny to make ME represent AMERICA hahahahaa bite me (yes i am taking the personality of john bolton) , i have a LOT to say on nuclear technology (say 'iranian uranium' 10 times fast) yesterday was my cup of tea

however, we got to discussing about how the DPRK could destroy Seoul in like 20 minutes and it made me slightly edgy... i'm not all for the complete destruction of 10 million people. and so - we fixed it. we have 2 really great ideas (no johnny, i'm not accrediting your 'lets bomb them!!' to this pile! bah hah hah) to solve the whole problem. i obviously cant tell you these plans because they are top secret and all that jazz, but i left that class with a sense of accomplishment and slept easy.... defenders of the world! ;)

and now one of these defender people has to go and teach her last ever 1st year class. slightly sad. but not really.

shout out to mariks! howdy hi old chum!

Free advertising for Tom

2006-10-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Sarah's biatches who read her blog. It's Tom here, aka the Joburgboy (http://www.xanga.com/joburgboy)

Sarah has given me the privilege of writing on her blog. At the moment, she is busy marking essays, and she is getting quite depressed doing this, because the essays are depressing. Those stupid little tuttlings of her don't realise what a fabulous tutor she is - I would fail about 80% of these idiots. And seriously... when I was a little tuttling, my tutor never gave his/her class such things as caramello bears, which Sarah is planning to give them tomorrow. And have you ever heard of a tutor who puts smiley faces in her comments of your essays? Well.. Sarah does. See? Ella es muy fantastica! (that means... I think... she is very fantastic)

Speaking of Spanish things, I noticed the other day, Sarah, that you referred to your family as 'travestidos.' This translates as transvestites. Yes.. Sarah called her family a bunch of transvestites. Now I, being a trannie myself (ok not really... but I plan to do drag one day, you know), find this rather insulting, because you referred to transvestites in a derogatory manner. For shame... tut, tut.

What else can I say? (Sarah has just exclaimed to one of her essays: THIS IS SO BORING) Oh yes, my wisdoms are pushing out. And I don't like this, because it means I will have to go into hospital, and I hate the hospital. But the bright side of this is that I will have to go on a liquid diet afterwards, which means I will lose weight. (Now Sarah has just said "I want to staple my hair to the counter [because] I am so bored of this essay.") I also read this particular essay, and I can also testify to the fact that the essay is boring. I mean, really, the chiccie is talking about what happen in 1386 in Taiwan. genaaaarde. (this translates loosely as 'Heaven on Earth' and is pronounced ghen-aa-aa-aar-duh, and not jen-aaarde, as Sarah said. ha ha. ha ha ha ha. L to the OSER --> LOSER)

Ok well that will be all for now. Sarah has just given me one of her carmello bear. I love Sarah. She is very cool.

She has just said that she wants to thank anyone who designed a piece of chocolate in the shape of a koala bear.

Ok.. goodbye. And remember to view my blog bunnies!!!!! And comment on it!!! Because I'm important too. http://www.xanga.com/joburgboy

tut tut # 2

2006-10-15T05:52:00.001-07:00

vanny and i went to partake of breakfast (our usual saturday morning @ M&A in rosebank) (yes today is sunday but i forgot this side rant yesterday)

and when we parked eugene, we noticed that the car next to us (big fancy shmancy thing) was housing a poor little yappy puppy. without even a smidgen of an open window.

oh well, we thought, maybe the people had to run in for 5 seconds to get something

but when we got back, 2 HOURS LATER, the little pooch was still there, lying on the floor of the car, probably out of energy... or life

so we left a post it stuck on the moron's window

"we hope that one day someone locks you in a car for hours and doesnt even bother to open the window"

the human race tut tut

2006-10-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

so yesterday i was attempting to enter the University as normal, sitting in the back of vanessa's car eugene, edging our way up the never-ending queue of cars, swiping their cards to prompt the lifting of the boom.

edging...
closer
...
closer

when the car in front of us, started taking their sweet maryanne of a time. on a concentrated closer inspection, we noticed that the woman (despite the little drawings on the swipy machine that ILLUSTRATE exactly what to do) was swiping her card the wrong way. so we used mental power "turn the card round... the OTHER way..."

and so, because of our super brain fuelled strength, she gave up and started gesturing frantically at the secturity guard on the ooooother side of the world. dramatic arm movement! almost audible sigh! banging of fingers against side of car!

so i got out. flounced over.

"sorry, but you are swiping your card the wrong way" i said
"like oooo-oooh my god!"

my calling? life instructor for card swipers!

oddish night happenings

2006-10-12T00:16:00.000-07:00

rufus the naked mole rat from kim possible ... especially for helen and lucas for they love these little things so ...

i have been having the oddest of the odd dreams lately!

firstly, we were in my street (and by we i mean a whole bunch of people such as you AP&ES people, mary marx,my gran, the woman who won the nobel peace prize and who is stuck under house arrest in myanmar and sandwhich boy) and all of a sudden the weird Big Haired Boy who hangs out in the coffee shop next to my book store came and wanted to hang out with us and all of a sudden he was laughing and then he shot me in the leg with a tranquiliser gun. odd. i hope its not a premonition because i dont see any obvious reason as to why this act would help him or me.

anyhoo, then I was at a Quidditch match (!) and sitting in the highest part of the stadium when all of a sudden O'Hottie was sitting next to me crying his eyes out (because he is not at all a big manly rugby player in real life!) because his girlfriend the physio was helping the Griffindor team and he didnt want her to. I missed the whole match trying to comfort his snivelling.

Then last night , i was at a world MUN competition and i had forgotten to write my opening statement and we were Albania and going first and i had to make something up. This has almost happened in real life. i can never prepare speeches ahead of time. i just cant. Vanny thinks this dream is to do with a fear of being unprepared that stemmed from my family giving me a 'talking to' the other day about how i 'have no direction' and how 'doing my masters is just taking the easy way out'... i was like excuuuuuuse me you travestido's, but i am having to take an entire year off in the middle of my masters in order for me to stay sane and actually do research and not have burnout! cut me some slack people! i at least have a plan for the next 3 years... and i keep trying to explain to them that i cant have an exact plan in steps and time frames for my entire life because so much depends on other people and job opportunities that crop up! so , please, dear souls, console me and tell me how you all have no direction or how you didnt have much direction when you were 22 ... i need a good nights sleep and cant if i'm dreaming odd things! so i need to know i'm not all alone in this world of chance where preparation is not king, but purely a cleaner of the bathroom

farewell kofi

2006-10-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

even though he only officially leaves on 1 January 2007, the announcement of South Korean Ban Ki-Moon as the new Secretary General saddens me. i truly respect kofi

saddened

2006-10-09T23:47:00.000-07:00

my brother's friend (the lovely Grant) received awful news on his birthday whilst their whole gang was off having a celebratory drink at the Jolly Roger on Sunday. His mom (who had just that week come back from chemo, all clean and healthy), had been coming out of her sister's house and some guys had jumped out of the bushes and tried to grab her bag away from her. as a knee jerk reaction, she had tried to yank it away. and so, they shot her in the back of her head. and she died on the pavement.

why do people do this? we watch movies like tsotsi (which in my humble opinion was crap and did not deserve the oscar) that only serve to perpetrate excuses. 'oh these people have no other choice ... to survive' like its some kind of battle between 'haves' and 'have nots' modern day robin hoods. well, they're not. i am angry. which is not a usual emotion for me, and i know it will dissolve in about half an hour but right now i can see no excuse for human behaviour. we are, in a utopian way, supposed to abide by a common set of values and principles. and even if these differ in slight ways as they are want to do because of obvious cultural differences, in my mind i can't see the respect for the lives of others as having very much leeway... its kinda cut and dry.

so how do you change something like this? how do you try and implement respect in others? Shaks was telling me the other day, how mad she got in law - they were discussing rape and the different laws in different countries. In SA, if a woman agrees to sex and then, during sex, decides to stop, this is not considered rape (!) and some moron guy became all verbose and loud in agreement. and it took some girls in the class to stand up and counter-act him. how do we change these societal flaws? how do we try and promote, not even respect, but just simple dignity in others? i dont really know where to begin. and i am saddened.

things people have said to me today at the book store

2006-10-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

"excuse me, but since you dont have this book in stock, please would you check which libraries in the vacinity would have it?" no... i'm not going to do that

"hi... where are all the books written by indian authors in ... hmmm ... about the sixth century?" why yes... let me lead you to that section

"hi ... i am looking for books. please follow me around the store with a piece of paper and write all the titles i like down?" says a woman ignoring the fact that there are 2 of us at the counter and about 16 customers in a queue

(and now blogger is stuck on italics ... i broke it ... grrr)

"i don't know the title ... or the author... or what it's about ... but i'm looking for a book ... i think the author might have the name caitlin somewhere" ... well my second name is caitlin ... maybe you want something i've written?

me : "hi sir ... blah blah blah ... what do you do for a living?"
him : "i'm a mercenary"
another one!

the arbest thing i have read ... possibly this whole year ... and i know my arb!

2006-10-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/05/world/asia/05china.html?th&emc=th

no

seriously people

arb!

an ode to the return of my flash

2006-10-04T10:05:00.001-07:00

he he he

* sheepish grin *

it came back. actually ... hmmm ... i'm sitting here at work and i remember that i found it just before i had to run out the door, but for the life of me i cant remember where exactly

someone really needs to help me. shaks has always said she'd be my PA, but she's obviously slacking off ;) i mean, i'm obviously inept at running my own life efficiently!

ps i missed all you guys today. but i learnt invaluable life lessons by watching 3 back to back episodes of kim possible this morning over breakfast. i shall impart this wisdom on you all tomorrow.

and until then, to all a good night x

an ode to my flash

2006-10-03T00:04:00.000-07:00

i am saddened for i cannot find my flash disk. and whilst its probably not very constructive to love a piece of technology, i loved that thing. it flipped out when you pressed a button and had an awesome flashing light every time you did something cool. sigh. farewell dear flash. i hope you find someone that will give you a good home and only save cool things in your large memory (such as the calvin & hobbes collection we shared). farewell.

anyway, onto happier things - i am LOVING the book i am reading - 'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close'... working my student job at the book shop allows me to read a lot of twaddle, but once in a while i come across something really great. anybody looking for something to do (ahahahaa - if there actually is anyone apart from me with a smidgen of free time... i complained about having to hand my thesis in so early and then laughed when everyone started having to graft hard but now i'm just bemoaning the loneliness that comes with being the only one with nothing to do and no exams to write... hmmm ... that sentence was supposed to make everyone feel sorry for me, but i think it might have the opposite effect, anyway ... i digress) if anyone is looking for something , read this book. i understand it might not be everyone's cup of earl grey breakfast tea, but i'd like to hear what everyone thinks. I read two pages of it to Vanny and her boyfriend The Brain, and they enjoyed it! so lets go folks! get out those bifocals!

Hmmm there was something else i wanted to say ... but now.... i cant remember so i'm going to have to talk about something else : for example the electricity board in jo'burg! they have to be the most incompetent people on the face of the planet (let's all take a minute of silence to hope that these people never have the opportunity to breed) and they have done something incredibly dumb and irritating to vanny's electricity and i wish to send my heartfelt sympathy to her and the rest of her clan. Do you know how irritating it is to live without electricity when you have to write your thesis? and its all fine and dandy pretending to be Laura Ingalls Wilder a la Little House on the Prairie for about ten minutes, and then you end up singeing your hair on the candle and realise that you can't watch the news and something exciting could be happening and suddenly its not all that happy. I remember my uncle dave's last house that we ended up house sitting for an extended period of time (3 years) while he earnt millions and flounced about builing skyscrapers in Arabia and the police came to the house one day and there was all this hoo-hah about electricity and my brother and gran had to go fix it at the police station and at the Council for Water and Lights in the middle of town and they left me at home to study and my gran's parting words were 'if the police come here and need to take someone in for questioning and since you are the only person here, they take you, don't tell them anything about the mafia... and lock the kitchen door before you go' ... don't tell them anything about the mafia? turns out uncle dave had inadvertedly bought this house from the Israeli mafia that had had to flee the country and they had an illegal generator on the property. that was an interesting day.

walking dead

2006-10-02T23:22:00.000-07:00

so tired

.........brain smushy...........

want bed

have to teach children ...... must impart wisdom .... must

.....coffeeeee....

i love nelson

2006-09-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

no. i really do. and it irritates me when people (foreign people especially ... but all people actually) wear him on their clothing or all over their material merchandise. he is not not a commodity.

quote of the day by ryan the american 'so the one time i dressed like a goth for halloween & people kept asking if i was a stockbroker"

2006-09-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

currently reading :

extremely loud and incredibly close

by Jonathan Safran Foer

ryan the american, for those of you who do not know him, is a perfect aryan ... blonde blonde hair, blue eyes, the most perfect teeth i have ever seen and the preppiest guy i think on the face of the planet (all WASPy) and even just trying to bring up a mental picture of him as a goth is too much for me.

but what did you wear to make yourself all gothy, ryan? i asked

well it was double fine knit cashmere... but it was black, sarah!

hee hee

the story of sarah and the boremag and the house full of ammunition that burst into flames

2006-09-27T00:13:00.000-07:00

3 things before we begin this tale

# 1 - apologies for all of you who have heard this story before. public demand is so great that i feel i simply must give them what they want.
# 2 - for those of you who don't know - the boremag is this afrikaans terroristy type group who, obviously, base themselves on an apartheid type racism (if anyone is an expert on what they do ... please comment and tell us all. i actually dont know much. apart from the fact that they're a little scary and roll their 'r' s a lot)
# 3 - the neighbourhood i lived in at this time was lovely! it was a cul-de-sac and filled with retired people and young families and people who sang musical theatre.

the day started like many others. and then it became night. for the night is when this story really begins. it was a summer night in december. and not a mouse was stirring. except for the active terrorists living next door. when all of a sudden ! GASP! what is that sudden bang?! and my gran is shaking me 'sarah sarah!' she yells, 'sarah someone's house is on fire! it could be ours!' i awake and shove on my furry pink monster slippers and run out the door. sure enough, flames are pulsing over the garage roof... using my supernatural senses and my terrible eyesight i gather that the fire is coming from next door! hear the fire truck beee baaa bee baaaing down some road somewhere, see my grandfather struggling down the garden with our watering hose, not that its attached to a tap or anything ... maybe he wanted to beat the flames down with the thin plastic pipe? run, plug it into the nearby faucet. still no fire engine. can hear the damned thing. the whole neighbourhood is standing on the side of the road. pause, take a minute to look at everbody's night time apparel. its funny. old mrs bosch from number 22 is in some lacy number. he he. turn to survey the damage - its only the garage on fire ... both cars engulfed from the inside, they suddenly collapse as their tyres burst. the fire fighters eventually arrive, they fight the fire. they win. its an anticlimax of sorts. i speak with the fire men. they enter my house. we drink coffee. eat mince pies. they offer me a ride on the fire truck on christmas day, i accept.

the next morning, i go and look at the damage. there are police everywhere! and they are tying yellow 'CRIME SCENE ... DO NOT CROSS...' tape around the house. i think it's pretty cool. i steal some. a police man approaches. i look guilty. i he asks me if i was present last night. i say yes with a no - i - did - not - start - the - fire - if - that's - what - you're - asking look on my face. he's obviously a rookie cop because he then proceeds to spill the entire story to me. turns out the nice old couple next door worked for the boremag as a weapon's storage facility and they had a bunch of bullets and guns and stuff stored in the garage and something had happened and the small little fire (a cigaratte smouldering? friction?) caused the entire arsenal to explode. the trees surrounding the house - where we'd all been standing the night before - were riddled with bullets that had shot out of the garage during the fire. it was a miracle nobody had been hurt. the old people were missing.

and in answer to the question you're all going to ask me -
no, i never did get to ride on that fire engine ....

"what are you - a mercenary? no ... i'm an accountant"

2006-09-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

currently listening to :

nerina pallot fires

and so follows the continuation of 'weird weekends in the life of sarah'

hmmmm. who knows what i did in a previous life. it couldn't have been awful because i don't have cars falling on my head or anything, but i think i went and pissed somebody off because these little niggly weird-ooooo things occur. i wish to take this opportunity to whichever powerful entity i peeved off (because he/she/it will obviously be privvy to constant internet access) and i ask that my life from here on out be easy sailing. thank you.

so the first thing i need to get off my chest is - do i have a face that says 'hello stranger that i have never ever seen in my entire life, yes! please tell me a truly depressing story for about half an hour! because i do indeed care!' ? because i dont. care, that is. sounds AWFUL, i know, but in context, it's getting ridiculous! a while ago, a woman came into our store (hmmmm.... i'm starting to see a link between work and weird days.... damn the fact that i need money to buy things that i actually really don't need!) and said (literally, this is all she said), "geez! sometimes you have to work with such idiots!" and i was like, 'you're telling me, sister!" (no, not really, but it's something i would have said if i said things like, 'sister') and then she came back about 3 months later and said , "excuse me Sarah (!! i do NOT wear a namebadge!) but thank you for your advice (!!) a few weeks ago. i appreciate all you told me to do. and i just wanted to let you know that you need to be careful (conspiratorial whisper) because people talk and everyone needs to be careful of what they say about others. i thank you. so much." yes. ahem i wish i knew what i did.

on saturday a woman came to buy a book (for that is what book stores sell - side gripe - i HATE it when people come into the store and say 'hi! i'm looking for a book' ... great start, tonto! have a pick from our million or odd options) and tom and i were singing our hearts out to the beatles and she looked at us disdainfully and said 'there is no such thing as love in this world' ... so tom and i said, 'that's ridiculous. there's love everywhere!' and she launched into this tale about how her mother stole her last two friends on earth - how her mother had never complimented her in her entire life and her main purpose in life is to destroy her daughter's happiness ... for about 20 minutes. Thomas, the BUGGER, ran away and left me alone to deal with it. i felt so terrible for this woman, but for some reason i couldn't help but feel like i was going to burst into laughter - the last laughing attack i had was during an easter vigil mass ... the nuns all glared at me. so there i was, biting the inside of my lips to keep myself from giggling, tears streaming out of my eyes because of the effort, when tom decided to send guillaume (the lovely manager from the restuarant next door) to save me. only, gui stood behind this woman, canning himself silly (later he told me he was going to say 'excuse me, but where can i find the tale of humpty dumpty?' which undoubtedly would have KILLED me) eventually the phone rang and the woman sighed and said 'you'd better get that i suppose. but nobody will be phoning me. i am now facing a 3 day weekend with absolutely nobody. i have no one' and i felt terrible. i can't imagine an empty life. so i would like to thank all my friends. and i would also like to implore to anyone reading this - booksellers are not psychologists. go book a hair appointment.

then yesterday (yay public holidays!) i was reading the newspaper and sneering at how stupid i think jacob zuma is, when this man appeared at the counter and said - we need to get rid of him. and i said yes. and he said we need to do it now. and i said oh, are you a mercenary? and he lowered his voice yet another conspiratorial whisper and said no, but i am an accountant and i love peace...you love peace too, right? riiiiiiight. he then placed his finger on his lips and walked away. and i wonder - have i just agreed to do something? i'm confused.

the man-who-gave-me-the-cd- last-week, came into our store 4 times yesterday. each time he came in, looked at the magazines. each time, i'm afraid to say, i ran away and hid in the back office kitchentte, and each time, he strode out of the store only to return 10 minutes later. i made my brother (my 6 ft 5 triathlon winning brother) come fetch me. sigh. the curse of a scaredy cat.

it's been real, cyber people

ps and yes this time i do have something to say

2006-09-26T02:43:00.000-07:00

ps # 1 - i now have a favourite ever comment conversation - it's on my friend-who-i've-never-met-but-consider-him-a-friend-i-might-even-leave-him-something-in-my-will-if-he's-lucky travis' blog.

check it out https://beta.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=23663155&postID=2808869484528960924

and if you need any encouragement - some of it is written in afrikaans! there, that should have you hooked!

ps # 2 woe is me. i stepped... more like leaped off the couch and straight onto one of those plastic stoppers from water jugs and the thick plastic lodged itself into the arch of my foot and stuck there and i yanked it out and then bled all over the cottage.

yes, you had to know that.

there is nothing i like more than speaking in acronyms

2006-09-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

i am indonesia!

in tomorrow's model UN debate, shaks and i were thrown a last minute invite to represent indonesia (we were originally only allowed to participate in next week's inter-varsity because my post as academic director kinda disqualified me). so i am doing some last minute research for my speech. it's not like i've ever done research before the night before anything anyway, but its the whole mental preparation thing i'm lacking.

anyhoo - i get to throw in some wicked abbreviations - ASEAN, G4, G20, G33, OCED, PRSPs, DDP. AFTA, COMESA, ICITO, MERCOSUR and even though i need to google some of them to see what they mean, they make me feel very intellectual

and that's all that counts

ps - hmmmm.... i had a ps to put in but now i can't remember what it was... oh well

i am super psycho ... um i mean psychic

2006-09-21T00:47:00.000-07:00

sometimes i have these amazing moments of psychic ability! ;)

a while ago ... i think at the end of 2nd year and well into 3rd year. we used to freqent the alcove under the trees next to the library. we used to spend all our 'we should be in class right now but are waaaay too lazy to move' time there. and there was this guy (there always is, isn't there?) who used to walk past round about the same time every day, in a suit. and we were fascinated by him. and so i, tired of calling him 'The Suit Dude' randomly called him "Simon" (you need to do the " movement with your fingers when you say"Simon") and then at the beginning of this year, he came into my store during one of my night shifts and i chatted to him and his name was... you guessed it ... SIMON (notice the lack of "). which is uber uber embarrassing because we used to yell out "Howdy "Simon" " when he walked past ... we thought we were being inconspicuous!

anyhoo - about 4 days ago i (once again completely randomly) labelled Omnipresent Boy # 2"Oliver" and last night shaks smsed me and said 'Oliver came to get his book' and it turns out that's his real name! you have got to be kidding me!

for crying in a bucket! taking this show on the road, folks!

this is rock / paper / scissors! (aka ching / chong / cha) but seemingly on steroids!

wicked!

i think i might be allergic to responsibility

2006-09-19T23:46:00.002-07:00

my gran , who is a little crazy, thinks i am allergic to my cat. i'm not. i've never been. she says the reason i am suddenly so tired and that my 'hair and eyes have lost their sparkle' (um thanks for the props gran) is because of my cat. i have had this cat for years! the reason i'm exhausted and supposedly sparkle-less is because of a little inconvenience i like to call responsibility.

inconvenience?? hahahahahah. what i meant to say, was curse.

i have to go teach my little ones now and its only for 45 minutes and i made a worksheet so that i didnt have to try hard to make an exciting debate occur amongst a bunch of almost dead, hormonal 18 year olds, but i just feel like going and sleeping in a bush. and then i have work tonight while the rest of the tutors eat sushi .... weep weep. i'm not saying i never have fun... believe me... most of my life is fantastical... i'm just feeling it today. i want sushi too ;) and i'll probably perk up in half an hour when the vitamins my gran makes me take kick in...

have no idea who said it - but i agree 100% ... 'you cant avoid growing up, but you can avoid becoming any more mature than you have to'

ps. kudos to the awesome luke (http://thelifeofa20something.blogspot.com/) for the photo! he even taught me how to upload it properly so now i feel all technologically impressive.

Quote of the day by shaks : all boys need a girlfriend that isn't their sister

2006-09-18T03:44:00.000-07:00

i tell you! i have odd weekends!

has anyone ever seen somebody somwhere and then all of a sudden, that person is everywhere? when we were at fuel cafe last friday... or was it thursday? ... anyhoo, there was a guy who i remember seeing around campus a while back. and then about 2 days later, i saw him walking around a mall. and then 2 days later we saw each other coming out of the postgrad department on campus. and then yesterday he came into my book store to find out about a book he ordered. and so shaks and i call him omnipresent boy # 2 (omnipresent boy #1 is actually OB # 1a and OB # 1b because it turned out he was omnipresent because there were two guys who looked exactly the same.) and he can't think i'm stalking him because he came to my place of employment... right... right?!?!? it bugs me when people might get the very wrong assumption that i'm a stalker or something. it's just plain wrong!

And then yesterday i had a shakti psycho-johnny moment. you see, a little while back, there was this dude called johnny who was in love with shaks. he came from the DRC and he wanted shakti to marry him. no. seriously ... he gave her stuff including a plastic rose (wrapped up in pretty paper), a half drunk bottle of Danau juice and a card, that when opened, played a creeeepy version of Fur Elise. inside this card were some pieces of paper that said "i kiss you, i marry you" and "i love you, i marry you" written all over them.) in the card he had written something along the lines of how he was from the Congo and has a lovely family there and how he travelled everywhere on public transportation to see her. it was sooooo funny! ;) and equally as creepy-ass, but still hysterical

not so much yesterday. mine wasn't as bad as poor old shaks, she takes the cake, but it was still weird! so some dude (you know the type : big, bald, angry looking, probably about 40/45) comes up to me and i (being the brilliant custome service person i am) smile winningly and say "can i help you, Sir?" and so he says, "Are you married?" so i say, "ummmm... no" because i'm not and he said , "good. then this is for you." and hands me a gift wrapped package (yellow rose gift wrap) and says "a present for a pretty lady". so i wait for tommy to finish helping his customer and i make him take me to the back of the store (into the office) and tell him the story and he CANS for like 10 minutes and i make him open it. and it was ... ok for you who know me, you'll get the irony of this... a copy of the freshly ground cd. i hate freshly ground. no, really. they grate me. so tommy and i rolled around on the floor for a little while.

so now - what do i do? shaks and tom think i should give it back, but how do you do that? like if it was like a diamond or something, i understand. and i would feel soooo rude. but on the other hand, he did pay 100 bucks for it and i wouldn't want him to think that by accepting it i'm accepting other stuff too ... help! all you wise people out there!

screw "the end is neigh" ... the end is right now!

2006-09-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

yayayayayayayayayay yay yay!

so eventually i am finished with my genocide thesis / dissertation thingy and it has been handed in and i have a huuuuuge weight lifted off my shoulders. no more sleepless nights. no more doing admin. no more scary - schizo - weird-ass supervisor! no more. ahhhhhhhhh... life is good!

and, yes i know i know, i have a gazillion things still to do (essays for class, tutorials to prepare for etc) but i can tick one more thing off my list (and i love it when i can do that because it's such a seldom occurance. usually i put stuff i've already done on my list just so i can tick it off and feel all accomplished)

so to all of you in my Hons class - go us!- and to all of you who are still writing (my biological AP&ES buds) if i can do it, then shucks, there's hope for everyone! so let me know if i can help you with anything (except for stats ... insert blank look ... i know nothing).

shmush of shakespeare and frigging pink ipods

2006-09-14T01:49:00.000-07:00

Tom, Keval, Laura, Vanny and i went to see Hamlet last night at the Civic in Jo'burg. 'twas put on by the SABT and it was wonderfully wonderful!

my main problem was that it's been yonks since i last read hamlet ... absolute frigging ages and so i kept thinking random thoughts like "when are the witches getting here?" (hahahah go macbeth!) but luckily we had the ever intellectual Laura and Kev to whisper stuff to us.

it was a lovely lovely ballet! as annabel (yo sup Raw?) pointed out to me and i agree with completely - it was nice to have such a masuline ballet. usually a la the nutcracker / swan lake, it's all feminine with lots of prancing and twirling, which is beautiful and i wish wish wish i could do without injuring myself and/or someone else, but quite often the guys are neglected a little. not in hamlet - and it is so beautiful to see these guys suspend themselves in the air and leap and bound about. its so skillful.

Quote of the day by some french dude in some new will farrell movie : "so you have a country that gave us george bush. and a country that gave us the menage a trois ... game over."

i'm all irrit. i say for like a year 'i want a pink ipod' and people would shoot me down 'sarah there's no such thing just get one and buy a pink cover' and so eventually, like 3 weeks ago (!) i relent and buy one (and by buy one, i mean guilt uncle pete into buying me one) and what do they release in the states today?? a frigging pink frigging ipod. i should sue. grande feo travestido.

Quote of the day by vanny :"i wear less and less every night and get hotter and hotter"

2006-09-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

summer ... sigh... summer is here. officially it's spring, but south africa, as we know, has no such thing as autumn and spring... it's just wham bam summer/winter

i miss winter

sigh

P.S. to all of you who told me otherwise, Smirk Pants is not not not blonde. he is sitting opposite me. i can see. so bite me

nothing much, but procrastination

2006-09-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

Shaks found an awesome book the other day - which has 100 great works of literature written in haiku (by David M Bader)

Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita

Lecherous linguist –
he lays low and is laid low
after laying Lo.

(this one we dedicate to the cute, but slightly older man who frequents our book store ... he he he)

Geoffrey Chaucer - The Canterbury Tales

Pilgrimmes on spryng braecke –
roadde trippe! Whoe farrtted? Yiuw didde.
Noe, naught meae. Yaes, yiuw.

and this one reminds me of that lovely 3 hour english 2 exam i wrote, translating Chaucer into 'english'... at the time i wanted to hit myself over the head with a sledge hammer.

my meeting with my supervisor was a disaster. but i think i'm fixing it...hold thumbs again!

one mans terrorist ...

2006-09-11T04:33:00.000-07:00

these are the designs for the new nyc twin towers. they're pretty and all that jazz, but the pessimist in me thinks they'll just become a landmark target for terrorist attacks... blow 'em up - replace 'em - blow 'em up etc etc like a sick bomb & architecture cycle

it's the anniversary of 9/11 and as much as i don't want to jump on the weepy commemorative bandwagon, i do have some things to say. been teaching my little ones about terrorism in our classes - they all have some pretty extreme views on it. i think the one thing about teaching first years is that (most of) their ideas and perceptions are so simple and untainted by the gazillions of readings and theory that they have yet to do. i get what they say about the fact that we need to, if not accept terrorist activity, accept the fact that fighting oppression is something that we cannot place a nationality on. during apartheid, the anc ( & especially the pac) were perceived terrorists... what's to say, that with the added benefit of hindsight, that governments that the media portrays as 'terrorists' arent simply the nelson mandelas of 2006? simplistic, i know, but i can understand and appreciate the idealism of it.

i watched the exorcism of emily rose last night at vanny's house ... i have NEVER been more frightened than i was last night. i am one of those people who have nightmares after watching shark documentaries on the National Geographic Channel and i thought i should try raise my scaredy cat-ness bar a little higher. i don't think it worked. i am still freaked out and it's about ten AM and its all bright and sunny outside. brrrrr.

On another note - i am losing my mind. i wore two completely different shoes to work on saturday. it was so embarrassing. i have absolutely no idea how it happened, i just think i am working in a different time zone to my brain and i really hope mind & body collide again soon because its getting a little difficult! ;)

i'm going to go do some work now... i have a meeting at 16h00 with my honours supervisor who is scary and potentially schizo ... wish me luck... if you haven't heard from me in a couple of days, assume the worst... my will is in my room and maire, you know you have to throw away my high school diaries before anybody in my family reads their embarrassing contents.

to my horror, i realised i have never put up a photo of dearest shakti ... this is one from our obviously very productive days @ work ... shaks , tom, & me ....

falling into the crowd

2006-09-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

last night we went to go listen to a friend's band (the fabulous newtown) in fuel cafe (in newtown) hee hee... i've only ever been to fuel cafe once before - but was much more enjoyable last night... i mean the place has matresses for chairs (!!) how uber! there was also another band - ultrasound - who were quite good (no bias here) ... but the crowd was very arty farty (in no way do i mean that to be derogatory). shaks, tom and i were just discussing how we dont really have a 'crowd' ... i mean, we're a very PC group (go us!) with one white homosexual boy, one indian catholic and a token white girl (me ... i dont really have any redeeming stand out qualities for this pc thing, actually. i'd better start pulling my weight!) but we don't hang out a lot in the gay crowd (we frequent it, but more of a jump in jump out kinda thing) and we don't hang out with the 'indian' crowd nor with the catholics (i mean i' m catholic too and i love them, but its not a prerequisite for our group or anything) and we dont hang with the 'white, oh-my-god' crowd either. so what are we? we hop around in these groups , generally find ourselves dancing around with all these people. and i guess that's the best thing... not trying to fit into a box or create a 'token' group ... just dance around them... in circles ;)

i love downtown joburg! each one of my friends add something to my life (some in the form of gifts, some more esoteric) and tommy is one of those people who likes to further us culturally. he knows so much about the urban regeneration happening in the city and incites excitement in us about it. and i must just say that jo'burg is looking awesome lately. be gone stereotypes! (eat us, cape town with your HALF a mountain!!)

sabrina the newfoundland

these are photos mike took of our
puppies

jeremy (aka jeremiah bullfrog) the golden
retriever ...

Today's 5 cities!! (i hope you're keeping up)

Belarus - Minsk

Belgium - Brussels

Belize - Belmopan

Beinin - Porto-Novo (official) & Cotonou (de facto)

Bhutan - Thimphu

erratum

2006-09-07T00:58:00.000-07:00

when i spoke about all of the rest of my brother's ex girlfriends being poppies, i forgot that the one was my dear friend Sarah #1's little sister Caitlin, who coincidentally, is also a friend of mine. and i would like to correct my earlier statement and say 'caitlin clerk is most definitely not a poppie" i just don't really think of her as mike's ex, rather as caity, a person.

this is them at cait's matric dance --- --- ---

--- --- --- and at some other place

just had to clear that up ;)

otherwise, i'm still writing my dissertation... i'm experiencing the difficulties that comes with being a semi-perfectionist... i generally hate everything i write, so i rewrite and rewrite until i'm so tired of looking at my own thoughts that i just hand it in so i don't need to see it anymore!

Had a few of the girls around last night (and Tom and Mike) and we watched a weird weird movie (vanny and i watched it for the second time) and i still don't understand it. It's called "I Heart Huckabees" and it is arb arb arb. I've stopped trying to get the message they're trying to send, but i think that might be the point... stop trying to understand... if anyone out there has seen it and understands it (ha ha i think you might be CRAZY if you do... kinda like if you can draw a perfect circle then you're supposedly cuckoo) then please let me know, i'd appreciate it. Oh - and i really don't like jude law. i mean, i'm usually the spokesperson for blonde people -they're dying out, we need to appreciate them while they're around. but not jude law.

that's all xx

i think i have a piece of 'weirdo flypaper' attached to my back

2006-09-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

no ... really... i meet some odd odd people. the kind of people who, when drunk, walk up to me, chuck me on the chin and say "sigh... don't let boys play with you... you're a real lady." and then wait for me to cry and say "oh boy... you are amazing and have just saved my innocence. thank you." . i hate it when people chuck me on the chin. it's almost as bad when people call me 'girlie'... grrrr

i guess i'm off on this tangent because i met quite a few oddballs this weekend and it reminded me of the time a little while back when i was helping out a friend (hola Sarah #1) @ a party bus do she was arranging and i was marshalling a bus with vanny - well, because i also have a very large piece of 'flypaper for disaster' stuck on with superglue, we got the bus that crashed into something and lost a bumper, had a fight where a boy broke a window and had a broken door that kept swinging open. i had to stand next to this door and at one stage i almost fell out - i was practically swung out over the highway and, luckily, we had some ambulance driver on our bus and he swooped over and rescued me. unfortunately he also had a rather sweet but rather outdated idea that rescuing my life then also made me his life long concubine (rather like he had taken lessons from the king of swaziland). it was disturbing. and once he had got the idea that i wasn't interested (probably because i strongly hinted that by saying 'just get the idea into your head! i'm not interested!") he moved onto the idea that all my friends were also his... sorry vanny!

anyway, this weekend also involved two very famous, but not very successful pickup lines -

the overused and frankly transparent "sorry but do you have a light?"

and "hey baby ... i'm a cop... and i'm undercover ... under your cover"

let's hope these are never used again. My favourite ever pickup line... well... i guess you can't say 'favourite ever' about a pickup line (bleugh)... it was certainly the most original. I was at a nursery with my gran - she buys plants... it's boring...- and some guy was all about the smoothness and dropped "hey... wanna help me sow my seeds?" i canned for about 5 minutes (him wilting by the second) until my (admittedly bitchy) comeback "sorry, but i'm not really that into helping weeds overpopulate the earth"

So - lesson for the week - pickup lines are dumb. really. i'm sure it even says something to that effect in the bible.

Azerbaijan - Baku
Bahamas - Nassau
Bahrain - Manama
Bangladesh - Dhaka
Barbados - Bridgetown

oh no! i just read that steve irwin died (that aussie crocodile hunter) this morning...how awful...

"Irwin was killed by a stingray barb to the heart on Batt Reef, off the remote resort town of Port Douglas in northeastern Queensland state, his wildlife park Australia Zoo said in a statement."

i always kinda thought he was invincible

just a quick friendly hint and they think they might've cured cancer

2006-09-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

Hint : when typing, make sure you edit yourself. I was typing on the gmail chat facility with Stuey (what's up Jonny??) from class and because I was typing so quickly (typing fundi that i am) i typed in 'hey don't inslut me" instead of insult... which could have been embarrassing if Stuey and I didn't go so way back (he's down wit it)

which reminded me of the time a friend's now exgirlfriend hated my guts because i was spending too much time with him (for pete's sake) and her family would look at me really funny in shopping malls and i yelled out "i am not a straw hut!" instead of Whore Slut ... (yess STUEY i know i told you a different version of this tale, but it turns out the version i told you was an unintentional lie and Van and Luke reminded me of the truth so this is the real one)

oh yes - some scientist yanks have cured some people from skin cancer by using their own modified genes... i though it was awesome until i saw the angry people jumping up and down in the street menacingly brandishing posters in protest and i realise that i might have missed the gene research angry boat. It's not stem cell research, which i understand some people find has religious connotations, so what's the deal? will someone please tell me??

i am such a fence sitter.... it's great... :)

have a good weekend people! xx

sigh i educate you people so

2006-08-30T03:05:00.000-07:00

this is a map of that country we were talking about earlier...umm... let me check what it was called -
Brunei Darussalam - this is a map of that place

and this is how pretty it is

Quite cool, neh?

good times

2006-08-30T00:39:00.000-07:00

these are my two bestest buds - we've known each other for about 11 years and have been through lots- such as me sqeezing a liqui fruit over maire's (on the right) head and the scar i have from cathy (on the left) on my left hand. i love them for they are wonderful. and they get the prime space on my blog because this is the only way i know how to upload photos ;)

the internet connection was down the whole day yesterday, but this is a post i wanted to make then so i wrote it and am now cutting and pasting because it's very important to me!

i must first state that this day has been the most awesome ever and for those of you who understand the significance of this will understand why I am filled with light and happiness because OPERATION SMILE has reached a pinnacle!!! MR SMIRK PANTS SMILED no… wait for it… LAUGHED AND SMILED at something I (yes… me!) said! Actually, it took an empty room, a lot of courage and a speech full of pre prepared jokes and wisecracks and saying things that the donkey from shrek would be proud of and HE SMILED and then LAUGHED and i am amazed and proud and it’s like a high that i need every day! *sigh*

don't fret if the above paragraph made absolutely no sense to you... just bask in the fact that there are people out there who did indeed understand what i just said ;)

Anyhoo today is Vanny's 22nd birthday so i want to give a shout out to her!She is wonderful and i wish her only good hair days and great food for the rest of her life!

Life is crazy at the moment because my lack of work ethic is really kicking me in the butt. Every year I say - hmmm, i'm gonna work sooo hard this year and then, like the year before, the universe changes that plan by making so much damn good tv. Bitches. So i'm busy writing my dissertation, but i currently have no interest in what i'm doing... my passion has somehow left the building and so i'm finding it hard to buckle down.

Today's 5 capital cities (for all of you who are asking 'why the heck do i need to learn this?' here is why. because one day you might be taken hostage by an ex geography teacher who will say to you 'western scum, i shalt let you walk free if you can correctly name the capital of Brunei Darussalam *sarah scuttles off to find an atlas to see where the heck Brunei Darussalam is* and you will correctly answer the educated rebel and you will be released and walk out to the tv cameras and into the arms of your relieved family and even though you will look like a slightly depressed mine worker and smell like eggs from days of captivity in the catacoombs (is that how you spell it?), you will say 'thank you sarah'. that is why)

Antigua & Barbuda - St John's

Argentina - Buenos Aires

Armenia - Yerevan
Australia - Canberra

Austria - Vienna

the end

the drag queens kept hugging me

2006-08-28T00:15:00.000-07:00

so on friday night we went with tommy to a gay club... well if i go right to the beginning, the evening started with intelligent conversation and indian food at keval's house where the Wits Model UN Committee met for a 'board room meeting' which was just an excuse to drink (some wine, some apple juice, LOTS of Creme Soda) and pick all the danish feta out of the salad.

we then proceeded to ramp divas - which was just fabulous, except for the music (what is UP with the doof doof stuff?) in my ignorance i thought gay clubs should play abba and the grease soundtrack... but no... it was (as shaks put it) drug music... the kind i think you can only really appreciate when you're high on something illegally potent. but we got our groove on and shaks and i looked at all the pretty gay boys prancing around (and one who MIGHT have been straight... he was as tom explained in his blog http://www.xanga.com/joburgboy, that illusive gay-straight dude... shaks and i were perplexed by him. he looked straight, he danced straight, he looked slightly put out when a boy who had just removed his shirt danced up to him and moved away. but how do you hit on a guy in a gay club? and how do you even ask 'are you gay? you don't look like you should be without insulting someone). the drag queens hugged me - for some reason the one loved me and after embracing me in her powdered and perfumed padded bosom, she chucked me on the chin and said some encouraging things. it was interesting.

Oh my pope... i'm so irritated, it's like i've all of a sudden become this fight magnet. first last weeks little banter between short men who have something to prove (ie that they're big in other ways he he he) and this Saturday we (Tom, Shaks & me) were at Sandton (again... what can i say? baglios has the BEST crepes with nuts and ice cream and chocolate sauce mmm) and some teeny boppers started beating each other up. and their friends all jumped in with some dumb ass crowd mentality and punching and yelling out expletives "your ma's a $%^&*%$" etc etc and eventually stopped when, once again, someone was led away with blood streaming down his head and a broken glass door. it's so STUPID!! grrr. it's like this one time we were at this talk by the dir general of the WTO Pascal Lamy and some stupid monkies snuck in and jumped up yelling 'no no WTO' (oooh rhyming revolutionaries. good times). they had to be lead away and stood like the apes they were, jumping up and down in the street. c'mon people, rather listen to what people have to say and then break them down intellectually. it's way less embarrassing for you.

OK- I promised Tom that i'd give a shout out to gustav... gust is tom's hot hot car who lifts me around town in his silvery assed style. he is awesome and (quote from tom) enjoys 'taking it up the chuff' with vanessa's car eugene who vanny insists isnt gay ... but we here in the ab fab life accept all life choices. maybe eugene should switch to diesel... i hear it does wonders for car libido.

OH - THOMAS IS AMAZING!! He can name every single capital of every single country in the whole entire world. it's like a party trick. shaks and i sat at work yesterday with an atlas open mouthed... so in pursuit of education, we are going to learn 5 a day, from the beginning, all of them because my party tricks so far are wriggling my ears as a show of my non-evolution and hitting my fists together so that two fingers pop out in an amazing show of agility and mind boggling magic. no. not really.

today's are
afghanistan - kabul
albania - tirana
algeria - algiers
andorra - andorra la vella
angola - luanda

anyway I have SO MUCH WORK TO DO i cant believe i just wrote a blog post, but i though i'd better put something out there for all my fans. all 5 of you.

;) xx

pictures of my nearest & dearest

2006-08-24T00:27:00.000-07:00

today i thought i'd post some visuals to go with the monologue ;)

tommy (my 'token' gay friend... although he's much more than that because i'm not particularly PC and only hang around with awesome people or people i need something from) & me...

my little brother mike& his ex girlfriend (the only one i actually ever liked, the rest are all poppies)

this is vanessa & me... vanny has a little blue car called eugene and she listens to the beatles on the way to university and this photo was taken the other day at the zoo outside the monkey cage

who am i?

2006-08-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

hee hee that sounds like this post is going to be all introspective when it's actually just going to be about stuff i like (like telescopes)

i am Sarah and i am a proudly proud South African citizen and i live in the wonderfully wonderful city of Johannesburg. i am now 22 - i turned another year older on 5 July- but i still tell people that i am 21 for some reason... i think it might be a latent quarter life crisis. i am studying and whilst i love it, i'm having a bit of an issue contemplating doing my masters next year. it'll be my 5th year in a row at varsity and considering i came to uni straight after school, it'll be my 17th year running at an academic institution. and it's starting to eat up my brain. and i have grey hairs. no really. i do. i pull them out.

i'm studying international relations and my main aspects of interest are counter terrorism, refugee integration, diplomacy (ie to be an ambassador and live in a foreign country and throw embassy parties!) human security and genocide prevention. i grew up wanting to be a fireman and a war photographer (at the same time... i multi task) but after realising i attract fire (my ex neighbour's house once burst into flames at 3am) and after studying media for 3 years as an undergrad and becoming disillusioned, i'm thinking of clearing landmines for the UN (yes, i am very accident prone)

i have one brother - Mike aka Stinky, Wufflet, Poodle and many other names that make him just as mad as the previous 3 ;) and a hoarde of wonderful friends who i will refer to on a regular basis for they make up a huge part of my life (many of them stick around because i pay them a salary to do so)

i love doing a lot of things, many of them not very well because my attention span is about 10 seconds. but some things i have stuck with are photography, writing, singing (loudly), watching the news (yes that makes me sound as nerdy as anything, but i lo-o-ove the news! it's exciting! But i only watch Sky News.), playing with my puppies, havng coffee and lunch with people i love and giving people nicknames - like Sunglass Tan Boy, Chewy Pen Boy, O'Hottie, Ipod Boy... etc etc... if you ever read my blog and you know me and you hink that you are one of these people please let me know because then my nicknames are obviously not as sleuthy as i'd like them to be! i LOVE theatre and all that cultural stuff but i also like girly pleb stuff where everybody has a happy ending. i love politics because i find it funny when stupid people make speeches. i love travelling... don't do it enough though.

i do a lot of things for organisations... mainly because i can't say no and because i love saying 'i'm so sorry i can't come, but i have a meeting' ...

i watch a lot of sport ... hmmm... i just got a guilty feeling that i'm talking too much about myself here (like a bad first date) and then remembered HEY this is MY blog it is about ME haha hahahahahah. I'm catholic and therefore have a lot of guilt to deal with.

that's all for now. Not because i've run out of things to say, i'm very verbose, but because i have other things that i logged onto the net to do... like research for my honours dissertation that's due in a few weeks... sigh... procrastination.

Love Sarah x

i love arb weekends!

2006-08-21T02:08:00.000-07:00

it all started with a friday where nothing much happened because dear Vanessa is busy working like a diligent poodle and is actually doing research for her honours thesis. So i decided that without a coffee and rusk buddy to go into varsity with, varsity wasn't a good idea. So instead, i lazed at home putting music on my ipod and watching the news (ok ok... some news and a dvd) and then went to work.

*insert interesting things about work here later when you think of them*

post-work, my dearest bud Shakti, Mary & i went to a party hosted by my friend Jono(fratboy to end all fratboys) and the usual drunken babbles, fistfights and the playing of (as Shaks put it) 'doof doof white boy music' ensued. It was *ahem* interesting and ended, as all parties of the frat boy nature, when someone was taken off in an ambulance with a bleeding head. Last thing i saw was Jono stumbling around holding his face... not my favourite kind of party... but interesting nonetheless!

Saturday, Shaks and i awoke at ELEVEN! which is the latest I've ever slept in my whole life... apart from the time i went through a musical theatre stage and used to stumble in at 4 am and scare the cat with my stage makeup ... and went to work (again) with Tom the Bomb (my dear 'hot homosexual friend' - which is what he says i should tell my grandchildren he was when they look at pictures of him in years to come) and did lots of worky things - like taking photos and eating chocolate and googling things.

Sunday had the usual mix of work (how monotone.... work work work) but with the added bonus of our security guard Dave catching our very first shop lifter! It was exciting and criminal and so of course I wasn't actually IN the store when it happened, i was prancing around buying coffee... but it turns out he was a drunk guy called Loyiso (so from now on I will raise a glass to Loyiso in pubs) who shoved one of the biggest, hard cover books we have in our store (the Readers Digest collection of jokes and funny stories) under his jersey...
And post work was the usual Sunday night dinner when Tom, Shaks and i went to Sandton (Saaandton Doll!) and moaned about the lack of available men...

So while there was arbness, not much was done this weekend... and that's how i like it!

OH- before i forget, a funny thing happened on Thursday night when a bunch of us went to see "A Good Woman" (Scarlett Johannsen is one of the most irritating actresses EVER after Kirstin Dunst and Dakota Fanning) and i was the first to arrive and since we were running out of time, I stood in the ticket queue... as i got to the front, no one had arrived yet so i started letting the people behind me jump in and i said to some lady
"you can go ahead, I'm waiting for a bunch of tardy people"
and she looked at me disdainfully and muttered, "we don't call people retarded!"
and so i skulked off and hid near the escalator to escape her wrath!!

That's all for now.

It's been real.

Love Sarah

My First Post!

2006-08-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

All of my friends have blogs! All of them! And, ok, I don't want to be a sheep and follow everyone because they are followable, so let's just all pretend that this is the first blog ever and i am the first blog ever's creator. And so therefore I rock ;) And am rich... he he... no more student lifesyle!

Anyhoo... so I am Sarah and I am late. No really. I am late. Have to go now. Will have a proper post later.

I am always late.

Bye